The Long Winding Road
by The Confused One
Summary: First off, this has NOTHING to do with the Beatles or the song. The title just fit. Trying to avenge a death, Bobby and Alex's carefully constructed world falls apart. BA
1. The Trouble Really Starts

The Long Winding Road: pt. 1 By: The Confused One  
  
Rating: I'm going to go with PG-13 on this one.  
  
A/N: This story isn't going to end up even close to what you think it's going to be. It's certainly not a song fic, the song title just fit. LOL This is going to be a long bumpy fic, so settle in for the ride, and please remember to review.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, sorry, don't have any money, and I certainly don't own any of this. Please don't sue. LOL  
  
Bobby paced on the roof of a hotel. He looked down to see if someone was finally showing up. In frustration, he started pacing again. Alex soothingly whispered through the microphone, "You think you could be anymore wound up?"  
  
Bobby smiled. He stopped knowing that Alex was right as usual. He replied, "Sorry, I just don't like waiting."  
  
Alex whispered back in understanding, "I know. I don't either, but just calm down a little, for Ryan."  
  
Bobby closed his eyes seeing the boy they were too late to save. He scowled and replied, "I'm trying. You know that. I just don't have a good feeling about tonight."  
  
Alex felt guilty now. She knew he blamed himself. She remorsefully replied, "I know. I'm sorry."  
  
Bobby gestured as he dejectedly replied, "I should have been there to, to stop him. We knew that they knew."  
  
Alex took a deep breath. She replied, "You can't be everywhere. You can't control people Bobby. Stop beating yourself up because of what happened."  
  
Bobby nodded. He knew she was right. He couldn't expect himself to be everywhere at once, but as usual, he felt such guilt. He replied, "I know."  
  
Alex understood. He didn't have to finish his thoughts. She felt the same guilt. She was just trying to use the fire for good. She was just glad that he was onboard with the sting at all. They all knew it was risky. They had no way of knowing what they knew, and Bobby didn't want to risk someone else's life and feel responsible for them too. It was only when Alex had told him that he could be up there himself that he agreed to do it at all. She soothingly replied, "They're going to pay."  
  
Bobby nodded. He noticed a dark colored car pull into the lot. Three men stepped out. Bobby distractedly spoke to Alex, "They're here. There are three of them. Get ready."  
  
Alex cryptically replied, "Got it. Stay cool."  
  
Bobby smiled. Cool was something he did well, and they both knew it. He watched as one of the guys got back in the car, another one stood guard at the door, and the third one disappeared inside. He figured that he would be the one he'd be dealing with. Bobby stood calm, and he watched the elevator waiting for the Cuban to emerge.  
  
The elevator doors opened, and a well-dressed gentleman stepped off. He had a briefcase in his hands. The gentleman walked over to Bobby and took his hand. He spoke, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Mr. Thompson."  
  
Bobby returned the smile and gesture. He coolly replied, "I've been looking forward to this myself Mr. Santos. Do you have the money?"  
  
Mr. Santos smiled. He held up the briefcase. He replied, "Yes, but I think we'll be keeping both."  
  
With that Bobby suddenly realized what was about to go down. He immediately grabbed for Santos' gun. They began scuffling for control of the gun. Bobby gritted his teeth and even with the fighting was able to say, "I'm a cop."  
  
This seemed to only make Santos fight harder. He managed to rip Bobby's shirt open and pull off the wire! Santos backed Bobby up to the edge of the roof. Not realizing there was a brick behind him Bobby slipped sending them both harrowing over the edge of the building!  
  
Alex panicked when she heard Bobby's strained admission to being a cop. She knew then it had all gone bad. She immediately jumped out of the SUV and began running full speed towards the building, but it was too late. Alex, with swarms of uniformed cops behind her, saw the parking lot was empty. In a blind panic she headed, at top speed again, to the roof thinking Bobby was still up there. She didn't even notice the two pools of blood below the roof. 


	2. The Search Begins

The Long and Winding Road: 2

By: The Confused One

Rating: I'll say PG-13 Mild language and blood

Summary: After something happens to Bobby, things go spinning out of control.

A/N: All right.  This chapter holds lots of surprises.  A couple of things to keep in mind while reading ALL of this fic, I'm leaving things out.  There are secrets, feelings, thoughts, that you don't know yet.  I think you'll be pleasantly surprised as things are revealed.  He he he  Oh, Thank you tattered rose for reminding me about some things.  They're being used nicely, especially later on.

Feedback: I'd love some.  Please send to Charmed1500@yahoo.com

Archive: Yes to Amorous.  Someone else?  Please let me know where it's going.  Thanks.

Disclaimer: I'm a poor college student, so no; I don't own any part of this, sadly.  Please don't sue.  Thanks. 

Alex had literally run up the flights of stairs to the roof and swung the door open as fast as she could.  There was a part of her that was relieved to find nothing, and another part of her was even more panicked with not knowing where he was.

She began looking around the roof.  She immediately noticed the wire and two suitcases lying on the ground.  She mumbled, "Great.  Now what Bobby?"

Her attention was immediately drawn to the gun that was at the edge of the roof.  She noticed that one of the bricks was missing.  A sudden sick feeling began to grow in the pit of her stomach as she contemplated one of the reasons for them not being on the roof either.  She whispered, "Oh my God!  No!"

She ran over towards the edge, only to have her worst fears realized.  She now saw the two large puddles of blood.  She stood in shock.  She whispered, "Bobby."

After a few minutes of standing there, she began wondering where the bodies were.  She followed the blood trail with her eyes to where the other car had parked, when someone behind her spoke, "Detective Eames?"

Alex was startled.  She jumped and turned around to see a nice looking uniformed officer waiting for her to answer.  Wiping a couple of tears away, Alex distractedly replied, "Yeah."

The officer, Nikolas, seemed to relax just a little.  He hesitantly replied, "There's no-no sign of Detective Goren."

Alex nodded.  She had been afraid of that.  She wasn't sure what to think.  She replied, "Thanks."

Nikolas watched nervously as Alex walked the roof to gain some perspective on the situation.  He asked, "Detective Goren, he's-he's your partner isn't he?"

Alex looked up at Nikolas.  She didn't appreciate him interrupting her, and she could sense he was tense and nervous.  She replied, "Yeah, he is.  Is there something wrong?"

Nikolas looked down at his feet.  He wasn't sure what to say.  He decided to just be frank about it all.  He explained, "Detective Goren and you are sorta legends, ya know?  I've heard some wild stories about you two.  And I'm not sure what to expect."

Alex smiled.  She let out a little laugh.  She dryly replied, "He's not so bad.  You just have to know him."

Nikolas gave her a small smile.  He replied, "Heard something about some the things he does with bodies."

Alex was distracted again.  She wasn't in the mood for chitchat.  She ignored his comments, and pointed to the briefcases and wire.  She began, "The struggle looks like it started here.  One of them backed the other to the edge there, but someone slipped on a lose brick.  They both fell, and the two guys below took them."

Nikolas watched as Alex walked to the edge of the roof.  He replied, "It makes sense, but I don't think anyone could survive a fall like that."

She took a deep breath.  She knew he was right.  If her theory was right, it was very unlikely that Bobby had survived, but she couldn't think that he was dead.  She had to assume, believe that he was alive.  She wasn't sure she could take it if he was dead.  She hesitantly replied, "Until I have a body, I'm not giving up on him."

Nikolas nodded again.  He just watched her look out over the side of the roof for a moment before her cell phone rang.  A tiny, little part of her wanted to believe it was Bobby calling to assure her that he was OK.  Alex instantly answered, "Eames."

Deakins had gotten a call that something had gone wrong, that crime scene units and officers were at the scene.  He worriedly asked, "What happened?"

Alex took a deep breath.  She instantly closed her eyes and chastised herself for having such silly hopes.  She stepped away from the ledge as swarms of officers and forensic people began arriving onto the roof.  Alex replied, "Santos attacked Goren.  We moved in only to find the place empty.  Captain, we don't know what happened yet.  We don't know where he is."

Deakins took a deep breath of his own.  This was not what he wanted to hear.  He replied, "Hodges called in the teams.  You should be swarmed with forensic guys.  He called me."

Alex closed her eyes, knowing that she had screwed up.  She wasn't doing things like she was supposed to.  She has been too busy trying to find Goren.  She began again, "I'm sorry.  I know I should have called, but I went to try and help.  I wasn't going to sit in there, like Hodges.  I got distracted up here…"

Deakins had immediately regretting snapping at her.  He could hear the stress she was feeling over the phone.  He knew that stress.  He apologized, "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have…  There's no sign of him?"

Alex took another deep breath.  She choked back a tear that threatened to fall.  She answered, "No, and I'm afraid they both fell off the roof."

Deakins gasped.  He quickly demanded, "Fell off the roof?  How did that…"

Alex interrupted, "They were fighting over a gun.  It looks like one of them tripped over a lose brick and they both went over.  There are a couple of huge pools of blood on the ground.  I think the other two dealers who were here took them."

Deakins was still taking it all in.  He hesitantly asked, "Why would they take them?"

Alex was as confused by that one as anyone else.  She replied, "I'm not sure, but I don't think anyone was supposed to get hurt.  I think Santos overstepped.  Someone might have survived for all we know."

Deakins knew what she was hoping for.  If he were to be honest, he was hoping the same.  They both wanted Bobby back in one piece.  Deakins replied, "It's a long shot."

Alex's frustrated replied, "I know.  I just can't give up on him yet."

Deakins took another deep breath.  He understood her reaction, but he also knew procedure.  He understood it too.  He understood how, when it's your partner, your judgment is clouded.  He knew he should take her off the case, but he knew she wouldn't go.  She'd interfere till she was completely involved after all.  He decided to try to ask her to take herself off now and only force her off if he had to.  He finally replied, "Are you sure you can do this?"

Alex knew the meaning behind the words.  She knew he was worried about her judgment, but she wasn't about to pulled and taken out of the loop when her partner's life was at stake.  She raised her voice only slightly, "I'm not walking away, and I think you know that.  I have to find him, dead or alive.  I just.  I have to find him."

Deakins immediately knew he had been right.  He quickly smoothed things over, "I had to try."

Alex instantly softened some.  She replied, "I need to go.  I'll keep you informed."

Deakins worriedly replied, "Be careful."

Turning off her phone Alex noticed that Nikolas was still on the roof talking to a couple of the other officers.  Noticing that she was off the phone he called her over, "Detective Eames."

Alex took a deep breath before joining the two men.  Nikolas began, "They need you to authorize blood samples and evidence gathering."

Alex closed her eyes and nodded.  She replied, "Yeah, we need to get this over with."

Nikolas nodded too.  Looking over at the man beside him, he replied, "See, she's alright."

Alex rolled her eyes.  She couldn't believe people were still afraid of Goren and her, even after all these years.  Pushing it out of her mind, she focused.  She didn't have time for such trivial stuff at the moment.  She needed to find him.  She had to find him, her partner.  She watched the man walk away before asking, "Where's Carson?"

Nikolas shrugged.  With a sigh, Alex took off back down the stairs.  The young officer began following.

Alex was walking as fast as her legs would carry her.  In the parking lot, she finally saw him, Carson, the man who had been stationed to protect her partner on the other roof.  The sniper who had been put there to go ahead and take Santos out if it had come down to that.  Getting in his face Alex screamed, "What the hell happened?  You were up there to prevent something like this!  Why didn't you shoot the bastard?"

Carson was momentarily taken aback to have Alex in her face.  Wide-eyed, he stammered, "I.  I'm sorry.  I, I couldn't get a shot.  Goren was in the way."

Getting out of his face, Alex brushed her hair back.  She forced herself to keep her composure.  She couldn't melt down now, not yet.  There was too much work to do.  There was too much ground to cover.  There were too many possibilities.  Taking a deep breath, to choke back the tears that threatened her resolve, Alex lowered her voice considerably, "What did you see?  What the hell happened up there with those two?"

By the time Carson was done reiterating what happened, including Bobby losing the wire and being the one to slip on the brick.  Alex could have just about screamed of the irony of it all.  The one time Bobby wasn't faking his clumsy, bumbling guy act, he fell off a roof.  She was sure now that the stars were aligning against both herself and Bobby.  At the end, Carson caught Alex's eye.  With pain and sadness in his eyes and voice, he replied, "I'm so sorry Eames."

Once again Alex almost lost it.  Nodding she replied back, "I know.  Did you see anything else, at all?"

With a sigh he informed her, "I was positioned to be able to see.  I don't know.  I.  I'm sorry.

Alex once again held back a few tears.  Nodding she replied, "Alright.  Carson, go on.  Thanks."

Nikolas was now beside her.  He touched her arm, before breaking in, "Detective.  I know.  I know it's not my business, but.  But are you OK?"

Alex refused to turn around to face the young man, afraid that all of her pain and anxiety were that obvious on her face.  Stiffening and replacing her resolve mask, Alex replied, "No.  Not really, but there's nothing left for me to do here, and I have to be doing something right now.  Do you know anyone who knows where the local clinics are around here?  I want to make sure Bobby and Santos aren't in one."

Nikolas eagerly nodded.  He jumped on the opportunity, "I live around here.  I know where they are.  I can show you around."

Alex half smiled.  Turning around to face the officer now, she replied, "Alright Smith."

Nikolas looked confused.  He stumbled over his words, "How did you know…."

Alex gave a slight smile as she walked away towards her car.  She interrupted, "It's on your name tag.  Let's go."

Nikolas immediately followed excited by the prospect of getting some recognition and helping the detective.


	3. Some revelations

The Long and Winding Road: pt. 3

By: The Confused One

Rating: This chapter? G.

Pairings: Bobby/Alex. Who else?

Warnings: No warnings, unless Bobby/Alex pairing fics  
bother you.

Feedback: Yes, of course. I live for feedback,  
especially for chapters like this, where I take some  
risks. Please send it to Charmed1500y...

Archive: Amorous Intent, of course. Anyone else, just  
please let me know where it's going first. Thanks.

Summary: This is the chapter where it gets VERY  
shippy. LOL So be warned of that. I forgot that this  
chapter is supposed to come before the chapter where  
we find out about Bobby, so you're getting this little  
chapter here that, honestly, will probably feel very  
out of left field, but I assure you, there are reasons  
for the characters introduced and information given in  
this chapter. It'll all make sense later. Anyway, I  
hope you enjoy, and you don't get too confused.

Disclaimer: Since I sadly don't own anything remotely  
related to anything L&O, I am not making any money.  
So please, pretty please, don't sue. Not that you'd  
get much, if anything, if you did sue. See, I'm what  
is called…a poor college student. So I have nothing  
of value. So, I reiterate, please don't sue. Thanks.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Alex pulled into the driveway. She could see the  
first signs of dawn. Parking her car, she took a deep  
breath. Forcing herself out of the car, Alex stumbled  
to the door that connected the house to the garage.  
As much as she hated it, and as much as she would  
rather be looking for Bobby, Alex knew Nikolas had  
been right. She had been up for over twenty-four  
hours. She wasn't any good to anyone until she got a  
couple of hours of sleep, at least. Not to mention  
that she had spent at least twenty of those hours away  
from Hayley.

As Alex walked through the den, someone stirred on the  
couch. A young woman instantly sat up from underneath  
a pile of blankets. The girl instantly smiled at  
seeing Alex. Alex smiled back. Alex skipped the  
greetings and got down to it, "Thank you for staying  
the night, Megan. I'm sorry I didn't get home  
earlier. I hope Hayley didn't give you any trouble."

The girl's features immediately softened. Climbing  
out of the blankets that she had fixed onto the couch,  
the girl even smiled. She confidently replied, "Oh  
that's fine. Actually, Hayley was great.. She even  
went to bed on time."

Alex immediately gave Megan an encouraging smile.  
With a nod, Alex assured the girl, "You are good.  
That must be a first for that girl."

Megan laughed. Giving Alex a dismissive wave, she  
underplayed it, "Ah. She's not so bad. I've had  
worse." Looking at her self, Megan looked at Alex  
again, and excused her self, "I think I'll go ahead  
and change so I can get out of your hair."

Alex smiled again. Digging into the purse that hung  
at her side, Alex assured Megan, "I'll be in my room  
by the time you're done, but I'll leave the usual on  
the counter."

Megan nodded began grabbing her stuff before replying,  
"Sounds good. Thanks."

Alex smiled and watched the girl walk off with a hand  
full of clothes. Quickly writing a check, Alex headed  
down the hall towards her bedroom, only stopping at  
Hayley's room. She wondered if she dared to enter.  
She didn't want to wake her. Taking a deep breath,  
Alex cracked open the door, hoping she wouldn't wake  
the girl yet. Slipping into the room, Alex just  
watched her daughter sleep. Moving some of Hayley's  
stray brunette hairs out of her face, Alex kissed the  
girl on her forehead. Alex whispered, "Night Hayley."

Stepping away from the girl, a single tear fell down  
Alex's face. She quickly turned around and headed  
towards the door when a small and quiet voice made her  
stop instantly, "Mom?"

Alex turned around and plastered a smile on her face.  
Looking into the girl's brown eyes, she spoke softly,  
"Yeah, it's me Sweetie. Go back to sleep."

The girl's face lit up, but she stayed still. She  
simply replied, "I'm glad your home. Is Dad home  
too?"

Alex instantly closed her eyes. It was the one  
question she couldn't, no wouldn't answer her daughter  
right now. Taking a deep breath, Alex decided on a  
half-truth. She just couldn't bring herself to try to  
explain this to her nine-year-old daughter. She had  
just lost her brother. She wasn't going to spring  
this on her, right now. Alex explained, "No. No,  
your Dad isn't here right now. But don't worry about  
that, OK? He'll be home soon. Real soon."

Hayley nodded, and gave her mother a slightly confused  
look. Seemingly letting it go, Hayley yawned, and  
assured Alex, "OK. I'll be quiet when I get up. So  
you can sleep."

Alex smiled a genuine smile. She shook her head in  
amazement. Alex was quite sure that she had the most  
perfect little girl ever. Alex replied, "Thank you.  
That would be nice. I'm sorry Honey, when I get up  
I'm going to have to leave again though. Your father  
needs my help. You mind staying with Aunt Kate?"

Hayley shook her head no. With a sigh, she replied,  
"When you and Dad catch the bad guys who hurt Ryan,  
you're going to be home more right? I miss you and  
Daddy."

Alex's heart broke into pieces. Letting a few tears  
fall, she choked out, "I'm so sorry Hayley. None of  
this has been fair to you. God, Sweetie, yeah, we'll  
be home more. I promise. It's just, right now, the  
bad men that hurt Ryan, are still out there, and your  
Daddy and I are trying to put them in jail where they  
can't hurt anyone else. Now go back to sleep. When  
you get up in a little while go ahead and pack an over  
night bag, just in case."

Hayley sighed and dutifully nodded and closed her  
eyes. Alex stood up and hurried out of the room. She  
managed to make it to her bedroom and get her door  
closed before she began sobbing. Staggering to her  
bed, Alex fell onto it in a heap, where she laid on  
her stomach and continued sobbing.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Alex emerged from her bedroom. She had finally  
managed a couple of hours of sleep and a change of  
clothes. Her brain seemed to have shut down  
everything but the things necessary for functioning  
and finding Bobby.

Hayley sat on the couch that had been covered with  
blankets earlier. Watching her mother enter, Hayley  
immediately brightened. She greeted, "Morning."

Alex was eternally grateful. The girl's bags were  
packed, and she too was dressed, ready to go. Pasting  
a fake smile, Alex returned the greeting, "Morning."

Hayley grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.  
Picking up her plate she headed into the kitchen. She  
knew her Mother was upset about something, and while  
it seemed to be the normal state of everyone around  
her at the moment, because of Ryan, Hayley knew there  
was more to this. Something was really wrong. She  
could feel it. These feelings were one of the many  
things that she had been proudly told were from her  
father. Then she knew.

Putting her plate in the sink, and walking back out to  
the den, Hayley was only marginally surprised to see  
that her Mother hadn't moved. Hayley eyed her  
suspiciously. She ventured, "Mom?"

Alex immediately snapped out of her thoughts. Looking  
at her daughter, Alex continued her charade. She  
wasn't about to worry Hayley about any of this yet.  
She had to be strong. She had to pretend, for her  
little girl's sake, for her family's sake. Alex  
swallowed hard, and shrugged her aloofness off,  
"Sorry. What is it Honey?"

Hayley tilted her head slightly, as if not quite  
believing what she was hearing. After a brief moment,  
Hayley straightened up and just asked, "Mom, what's  
going on? I, I can tell something's wrong. Where's  
Dad? Is he OK?"

Alex closed her eyes, wishing her daughter, if for  
just that moment, didn't have her father's perception  
and instincts. After a moment, Alex admitted, "We're  
not sure where he is Hayley. Lots of people are  
looking for him. I'm going back out to look for him  
some more."

It took a moment to register in Hayley's brain. She  
stood in shock for a long moment. Finally meeting her  
mother's eyes, Hayley surmised, "The guys who killed  
Ryan did something to him, didn't they? They've hurt  
him too?"

Alex wanted to lie to Hayley, tell her that the men  
who had caused so much pain, hadn't caused anymore.  
She wanted to soothe her little girl from the truth of  
the drug lords who were ripping their lives apart, but  
Alex couldn't. Alex knew, of all people, Hayley  
deserved the truth. She was a part of so many lies  
over the years, herself; there certainly wasn't a  
point to lying to the girl. Alex divulged, "Yeah,  
Sweetie, they've hurt your Dad. There was an  
accident, and he and all the bad guys disappeared. We  
don't know how he's doing."

Looking into her mother's eyes, Hayley felt like her  
whole world was crashing down around her. Tears began  
falling down the girl's cheeks. Hayley quickly closed  
the distance. Engulfing her Mother in a hug. Hayley  
managed to speak, "You'll find him. You have to find  
him. It'll be OK. He'll be OK. He has to be.  
You'll find him, right? You'll find him."

Hugging her daughter, Alex tried to believe the words  
that were quickly becoming Hayley's mantra. Pulling  
away a little, Alex swallowed and instructed, "Your  
Aunt doesn't know, OK? I just called her before  
getting here, ensuring that you could stay there.  
Honey, I'll find him, OK, but you can't tell Aunt Kate  
that your Dad is missing. You understand that? Just  
don't mention it. It's just another work night for  
us. OK? Can you do that for me? Things are going to  
be changing as it is after this, but I need to hold  
everything off till after I find your Dad. I have to  
find him first."

Hayley nodded in understanding. Wiping the tears  
away, she quickly became the perfect composed copy of  
her Mother's strength and resolve. Hayley was keenly  
aware of what was at stake for her parents. She  
assured Alex, "Yeah. Yeah, I can do that. Mom. Just  
find him though. Please."

Alex nodded emphatically. There wasn't anything that  
Alex wasn't going to do in order to find Bobby, her  
partner, the man she loved. She assured her, "Don't  
worry. We need to go though."

Hayley nodded as she instinctively grabbed her bag,  
and headed towards the car. Despite everything on her  
mind, Alex remembered that Hayley had packed her own  
over night bag, and that meant that something was  
usually forgotten. So Alex followed behind her  
daughter and asked, "You remembered your underwear,  
toothbrush, socks, a change of clothes…"

Hayley threw the bag into the back seat. She opened  
the passenger side door, as Alex went around the  
front. Hayley cut Alex off, "Mom. I didn't forget  
anything. I promise."


	4. Pushing Forward

The Long and Winding Road: pt. 4

By: The Confused One

Rating: This chapter. I would call it PG or even  
PG-13. Nothing too terrible here.

Pairings: Bobby and Alex from Criminal Intent.

Warnings: Let's see, there is a little bit of cussing  
and a few snippets of discussion about injuries.  
Nothing too graphic though.

Feedback: YES! Please send all the feedback to the  
feedback whore at Charmed1500y...

Archive: Yes to Amorous. Anyone else? Just let me  
know where it's going.

Summary: If you haven't noticed, I've just about given  
up giving story summaries in this thing, their pretty  
much chapter summaries now. LOL Well, here is the long  
awaited chapter where you get to find out what has  
become of Bobby. I'm pretty sure there isn't anything  
in here that is too shocking.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Only wish I did. No  
money is being made. Please don't sue. Thanks.

Bobby Goren woke up extremely disoriented and with  
bright lights in his face. It took a couple of  
minutes before he even knew that there were people in  
the room with him. A couple of nurses stood around  
him checking monitors. He suddenly realized that he  
was the one hooked to the monitors. A man walked in  
within moments as the nurses left. He quickly  
realized that the man standing over him was a doctor  
of some sort. Bobby's eyes were slowly beginning to  
focus on their own. The doctor smiled and asked, "I'm  
glad to see your awake Mr. Richards."

Bobby was completely confused now. He suddenly  
realized that he didn't recognize the name. He was  
hurting most everywhere. He weakly asked, "Is that my  
name?"

The doctor frowned. He answered, "Yes, your friends  
say your name is Victor Richards. Is there anything  
you do remember?"

Bobby thought hard for a moment before replying, "I  
remember lots of things, just not about my life."

The doctor nodded. He soothingly replied, "That's  
understandable. Mr. Richards along with your broken  
and bruised ribs, your broken right arm, broken left  
wrist, a few broken fingers, bruised knee you have  
retrograde amnesia."

The diagnosis registered in Bobby's brain. He knew.  
He had other questions. He wanted to know what he  
could about himself. Bobby interrupted, "Just great.  
Did I have any id or a cell phone or anything when  
they brought me in?"

The doctor looked a little surprised. He didn't  
generally have patients this assertive, especially  
after just waking up. He fumbled, "You didn't have  
any of those things on you when you arrived."

Bobby nodded. For some reason he wasn't sure he  
trusted anything that was going on. He didn't like  
the feel of the place, this doctor, and without even  
meeting them he didn't trust these supposed friends.  
Forcing himself to a sitting position, Bobby began  
looking around. He immediately realized he wasn't in  
a real hospital. He asked, "Where am I?"

The doctor continued fumbling through his answers,  
"St. Mary's Mission in New York City. You've suffered  
an extremely dangerous and damaging blow to the head.  
We were closest."

Bobby nodded not quite letting the last part sink in.  
He distractedly asked, "Can I see my friends?"

The doctor nodded. He replied, "Sure. I'll send them  
in. Maybe they'll be able to trigger your memory and  
answer some questions for you."

Bobby nodded not quite sure he believed him. Within a  
couple of minutes two Spanish men walked in. One  
began, "I'm Luis Lopez. He's Martin Domingus."

Bobby nodded before asking, "Alright. What happened?  
Why am I here?"

The other one, Martin, replied, "An associate of ours  
went up to meet you. Look, Mr. Thompson…"

Bobby immediately interrupted, "Mr. Thompson?"

Luis quickly answered, "We gave them an alias at the  
front counter. This place will take anyone and won't  
ask questions. Your name is Robert Thompson. This  
associate of ours, Santos, and you fell off the roof  
of a building."

Bobby's eyes widen. He couldn't believe what he was  
hearing. He asked, "We fell off a building? How is  
he fairing?"

Martin jumped back in, "Yes, the two of you fell off a  
building. We're not sure what happened, but he's  
dead. Look, Thompson, we don't want a war. We've got  
enough fucking trouble. It would be nice if you kept  
your boys off of us."

Bobby's face was a mixture of total confusion,  
revoltion, anger, fear, and panic. Someone dead, no  
matter what the circumstances didn't sit well with  
him, and it was even worse when he didn't know said  
circumstances. Collecting himself in an instant, he  
replied, "That would be doable if I knew for sure I  
wasn't being lied to, and knew who or where these  
people who supposedly work for me are."

Luis nodded. He replied, "This whole damn thing is  
our fault. We want to offer you protection with our  
boys until you get your memory back."

Bobby arched his eyebrows. He replied, "I don't think  
I'll be leaving here anytime soon. I think I'm  
alright."

Martin and Luis exchange a look. Luis informs Bobby,  
"The fucking cops know about it by now. The bastards  
are probably going to be everywhere within a couple of  
hours. They're going to find Santos' body.  
Especially since you can't remember what happened and  
you're a drug lord, they're going to pin it on you  
man. We all need to get out now, unless you want to  
go to jail."

Bobby wasn't sure if he should trust these guys, but  
he wasn't any surer that he wanted to take the chance  
on going to jail. He didn't have a clue about who he  
was or what happened, and he wasn't sure he wanted to  
take any chances. He figured for the moment he could  
follow these guys, at least for as long as he still  
couldn't remember anything. Bobby nodded in  
resignation to having to break out of the clinic. He  
just hoped that his head was healing right, and that  
his memory would return soon. He was taking an awful  
lot on faith. He replied, "We're on the first floor  
right?"

Martin replied, "Yeah, the only floor."

Bobby smiled his devilish grin, "Let's go out the  
window. No one will even notice we're gone for a  
while."

Martin and Luis both nodded. Bobby painfully unhooked  
himself from the machinery. Hobbling over to the  
window, Bobby gritted through the pain. The three men  
took off out the window. Bobby dryly saying as they  
left, "First thing, I can't stay in this gown. I need  
some clothes."

Martin replied behind him, "We'll get you some clothes  
once we're at the house."

Bobby was still had questions. As they reached the  
car, he relented and asked more questions, "Where's my  
stuff? I know I wasn't on that roof without a single  
thing on me."

Martin quickly answered the question, "In the back  
there. We were able to salvage your piece. It was in  
a shoulder holster. You also had a few bucks in a  
pocket. Your cell phone is in pieces. Sorry. It  
would have made it easy to get figure all of this out.  
That was all you had on you."

Bobby nodded. Getting into Martin's parked car Bobby  
noticed a woman entering the clinic. A memory of them  
together immediately flashed into his head. The woman  
was running just behind him. He was chasing someone,  
and she was gaining on him. She yelled, "Stop!  
Police!"

The quick memory confused him. A name kept sticking  
out in his head, Eames. He wanted to place the  
mystery female cop, that he somehow seemed to  
remember, to the name, but he couldn't be sure. He  
couldn't even begin to understand what he was seeing.  
To be on the safe side, he called up to the front  
seat, "You were right. There's heat here."

Luis asked in confusion, "Damn it! You saw  
something?"

Bobby hesitated. He didn't feel like explaining his  
memory to the two men in front of him. He replied,  
"Yeah. I saw a badge."

Martin instantly replied, "They'll never catch us now  
anyway."

The car immediately sped out of the parking lot just  
in case.

Alex and Nikolas walked up towards the front counter.  
Nikolas was trying to keep Alex from getting her hopes  
up. He pessimistically warned, "This is the last one  
Detective."

Alex nodded. She understood and appreciated the  
sentiment. She was desperately hoping that this would  
be it. Alex flashed her badge to the secretary as she  
walked up. Pulling out Bobby's picture she cut the  
chitchat, "Detective Eames. This is officer Smith.  
Have you seen this man?"

The secretary began to get extremely fidgety and  
nervous. She stammered, "Y-yeah, he-he was brought in  
hours ago. There's not any-anything wrong is there?"

Alex began absorbing the news. She was almost in  
shock at learning that Bobby was indeed there.  
Holding back her pure joy she kept her voice low, "No,  
no he's not in trouble. He's my partner. We've been  
looking for him. You-you just said that he was here.  
Someone brought him in? Are they still here? Is this  
man still here? Is he alive?"

Nikolas sensing that Alex was overwhelming the poor  
secretary interrupted by saying, "We'd just like to  
know everything you know."

The secretary nodded. She replied, "He's being  
treated by Dr. Harris. He's a neurologist. He's very  
good. Your partner has suffered major head trauma,  
but it looks like he's going to be just fine. They  
took his friends back to see him a while ago. Beyond  
that, even his room number, you'd have to ask Dr.  
Harris."

Alex nodded. She instantly asked, "And where can we  
find this Dr. Harris?"

The secretary stopped and began thinking a second when  
a doctor entered the waiting room. The secretary  
arched her eyebrows and answered, "You're in luck.  
That's him, right there."

Alex nodded again. Mumbling a thank you she was at  
Dr. Harris' heels before Nikolas had even spotted the  
man. Alex asked, "Dr. Harris?"

The doctor who had been talking to Bobby earlier  
smiled and replied, "Yes, that's me."

Alex flashed her badge again as Nikolas joined the  
two. Alex quickly got down to business, "I'm  
detective Eames, and this is officer Smith. We're  
looking for this man."

Harris studied the picture for a moment before  
nodding. He answered, "Yes, he's one of my patients.  
Is this about how he got here? Are you here to  
interview the two men that brought him in? Cause they  
claim it was all an accident, and that they left  
someone there to talk to you guys."

Alex wasn't sure how to answer his questions. She  
decided to be diplomatic, "Sort of. He's my partner,  
Robert Goren. I've been looking for him. What can  
you tell me about his condition?"

The doctor seemed to relax slightly. He answered, "I  
didn't trust those men that brought him in. The said  
his name was Richards. He's suffered extreme head  
trauma, but he's awake now. The majority of his  
injuries are stunningly minor. He broke his right  
arm, left wrist, and a few fingers. He bruised his  
knew rather badly, almost dislocated it. His shoulder  
was dislocated when he was brought in. He had a  
couple of bruised ribs, and a couple of broken ribs  
too. He was lucky they didn't puncture a major organ.  
The worst of his injuries is the swelling of the  
brain at the moment that is causing quite a severe  
case of retrograde amnesia. He doesn't remember  
anything about his life. Did he happen to do some  
study of psychology and the brain?"

Alex wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. A  
sort of panic welded up inside her. Things were going  
to get really, really bad if he started to get pieces  
of his memory back alone. Mentioning Ryan or Hayley  
might destroy everything they had worked so hard to  
build. Worse yet, mentioning Ryan in front of the bad  
guys might get him killed. She replied, "Yeah, he  
took some classes. Is he giving you that much  
trouble?"

The doctor shook his head no. He replied, "Oh no. He  
just seemed to be calm and understand his condition  
better than anyone else I've ever treated."

Alex nodded again. She replied, "He's like that, but  
you mentioned amnesia…"

Nikolas, who had been listening, bit his tongue  
letting Alex get some information before he butted in,  
but they were now getting into a serious conversation.  
He interrupted, "Weren't we told he was with the men  
who brought him in? We should probably go ahead and  
go see him."

Alex nodded realizing that he was right. She looked  
at the doctor waiting for him to take the lead. She  
replied, "You can explain his condition a little to me  
while we walk."

The doctor nodded and began to lead the way to the  
room. He replied, "Retrograde amnesia is caused by  
severe psychological trauma or by swelling of the  
head, due to extreme head trauma. Mr. Goren's amnesia  
was definitely caused by head trauma. As the swelling  
decreases over the next few days, even weeks, he will  
regain his memory. His childhood will probably be the  
first things to come back, but it is generally fairly  
quickly followed by the present. So be warned, and  
don't be discouraged when he doesn't recognize you."

Alex realized they were at Bobby's room. She nodded  
preparing herself for the worst. She was intrigued by  
what was to come. She knew that she didn't know even  
half of the horrors that Bobby experienced as a child.  
She wasn't sure she was looking forward to watching  
him have to relive it, but she was definitely prepared  
to help him through it, like everything else in his  
life. Even worse, she knew he didn't remember them.  
He was going to make himself crazy because of it too.  
She knew that for sure. She also knew she was going  
to have to plan things just right if she wanted to  
keep the truth about them and the kids under wraps.  
She softly replied, "Thank you. I think you should  
know, his childhood, it's going to rough. He's  
probably not going to be the easiest patient."

The doctor looked at Alex a little concerned. He  
asked, "Things are going to becoming pretty fast. If  
it's that bad, it's probably going to take longer, his  
subconscious will probably stall it not wanting to  
overload his mind."

Alex nodded again. She bit her lip before replying,  
"For his sake, I kind of hope it does."

Alex was getting more and more interested in talking  
to Bobby again. This would be Bobby without the  
emotional baggage. She wasn't sure what she was going  
to find. She hoped that it would at least be someone  
she recognized. Alex opened the door expecting to see  
three people in the room. She stood in the doorway in  
shock. The room was obviously empty. All she could  
think was how close she was to finding him, yet so  
far. Nikolas moved past her looking around the room  
checking it out as Alex just stared. The doctor was  
in shock too. He stammered out, "He-he was here. I  
swear he was here just a little while ago."

Nikolas took a deep breath. "They went out the  
window," looking at Alex now he asked, "Why would he  
leave?"

Alex and Nikolas stared at each other for a minute  
before Alex began focusing again. She weakly replied,  
"They've lied to him. They probably told him that  
he's one of them, and that they all need to get out  
before we get here."

Nikolas looked confused. He asked, "He'd believe  
something like that?"

Alex was angry now that he would be asking such  
questions. Raising her voice Alex defended her  
partner, "He doesn't know who he is. All he knows is  
that these guys supposedly know him. He trusts them.  
He has to trust someone, and right now he has no one  
else that he feels he can trust. He's confused."

Nikolas was a little surprised at the anger in her  
voice. He realized that she was right. He quietly  
back peddled, "I'm sorry. I had to ask. I'm trying  
to understand."

Alex regretted yelling at him. She knew he was just  
trying to help. Once again, she had to fight back the  
tears. She had been so close. She couldn't take  
anymore. She couldn't lose them both. She wouldn't.  
Ryan had been hard enough. She couldn't lose Bobby  
too. It would just be too much. And she had been so  
close. She had almost found him. She damned the gods  
for being so spiteful.

Suddenly Alex realized that Nikolas was staring at  
her. She had been so lost in thought. She hadn't  
realized Nikolas had been talking. Giving Nikolas a  
confused look, she asked, "Sorry. What was that?"

Nikolas asked again, "What do you want to do now?"

Alex thought about it momentarily. Swallowing the  
lump in her throat she replied, "We go looking for  
Goren. They might be holed up in Santos' estate. It  
gives us an excuse to go in now."

Nikolas watched confused as Alex walked out of the  
room. He followed, leaving the confused doctor to  
stew.

Catching up to Alex at the car. Nikolas stood back  
long enough for Alex to wipe away the tears. After a  
moment, he dared to walk forward a little. He asked,  
"Eames?"

Alex, who had noticed his presence the whole time,  
still refused to turn around to face him. Now that he  
had caught her crying, even if she had been able to  
stop most of it before he got there, it still left her  
feeling a vulnerability that she didn't want. She  
didn't feel like she could afford to have. Yet,  
despite that, and against her better judgment, Alex  
rambled, "If I hadn't. If I hadn't gone home. We  
would have gotten here before they left. I'm sure of  
it. I'd know where he is. I'm so worried that  
something else is going to happen to him before I can  
get to him. I had to go home. I had to check… I had  
to get some sleep."

Nikolas looked away. He quietly tried to reason with  
her, "You had been up for over twenty-four hours. We  
were both exhausted. You weren't any good to him like  
that. Hell, in my opinion, you're still not any good  
to him. You're tired Eames. You can see it. The  
exhaustion is written all over your face, in your body  
language. You can't punish yourself for having to get  
a little sleep. We'll find him. Believe that. He's  
alive. So we'll find him. It's just going to be a  
few hours later than it could have been, but we'll do  
it. This. This was not your fault. I'm the one who  
pushed you to go home like that. You seem to have an  
idea of where to look now. So we'll do that. We'll  
go look there. There's no need for doom and gloom  
panic yet. They won't hurt him. They went to this  
much trouble saving him, and helping him get out.  
They think he's one of them."

Alex nodded, knowing that despite everything, Nikolas  
had a point. She turned around to face him now. She  
ordered, "Come on. Get in the car. We've got to go  
talk to Deakins."


	5. Gearing up

The Long and Winding Road: pt. 5

By: The Confused One

Rating: PG or so.

Pairing: I think it's quite obvious by this point in  
this fic that there is a pairing in this fic, and it's  
Bobby/Alex.

Warning: Nope. Not at this point. This is a fairly  
safe chapter.

Feedback: Yes. Please review. It'll revive my muse.

Archive: Yes, definitely, to Amorous. If you also  
want it, all I ask is, you let me know where you're  
taking it.

Summary: These are basically bridge scenes that have  
significange later. So enjoy. :)

Disclaimer: I think it's quite obvious by now that I  
don't own the show or anything affiliated with it.  
I'm not making any money, so please don't sue the nice  
little, poor college student here.

Nikolas barely found himself being able to keep up  
with Alex as she walked to Deakins' office. Before  
she could knock though, an aggravated male voice spoke  
behind her, "Well, well, well, if it isn't detective  
Eames. Where'd ya go last night? Or don't you have  
the stomach for real police work?"

Alex angrily turned on her heels. Walking till she  
was practically in his face, Alex icily responded, "I  
was looking for my partner Hodges."

Hodges took a step back uncomfortable with Alex's in  
your face assertiveness. He replied, "I told you both  
to stay out of a vice case."

Alex poked him with her index finger. She replied,  
"It was a set up from the start. You know that.  
Goren didn't do anything wrong."

Hodges laughed. He twisted the knife, "Nothing but  
get two people, himself included, thrown off a roof.  
They're both probably dead anyway."

Alex scathingly shot back, "We know Goren is alive!  
Now, get out of my face."

Hodges was surprised to find that the detective had  
survived. He was almost disappointed. He hated it  
when other departments, especially departments like  
Major Case where everyone thought they were better  
than the rest, butted in on a vice operation. He  
acidly asked, "What about Santos?"

Alex was taken a back for a moment. Alex admitted,  
"We don't know. He wasn't at the hospital."

Hodges nodded. He dryly replied, "I knew it. See,  
your department is useless."

Alex had an urge to punch the guy, but she held back.  
She was just pleased to see him leave. She just  
wished the whole nightmare would end already. She  
just wanted her partner safe and sound. She wished  
she could go back in time, save Ryan, and have  
everything back to the way it was supposed to.  
Turning back around she came face to face with Nikolas  
again, who soothingly replied, "Don't listen to him.  
He's a jerk."

Alex smiled. She found the man who seemed to be  
nipping at her heels and following her everywhere to  
be somewhat fun, and she was grateful to have someone  
around during all of this. She really wasn't caring  
what their rank was. Alex appreciatively replied,  
"Thanks. I know. Hodges is an ass. He's just bitter  
because I made major case instead of him. He doesn't  
seem to think that vice is good enough anymore."

Nikolas nodded. Alex knocked on the door. She heard  
a familiar voice inside. Deakins commanded, "Come in  
Eames."

Alex couldn't repress her smile as she opened the  
door. Deakins gave Alex a once over before greeting  
her, "Alex, you look like hell. Have you even slept?"

Looking at the floor, Alex admitted, "Just a couple of  
hours." Meeting Deakins' eyes again, Alex changed the  
subject, "Listen, we checked out all the clinics  
around the area, and hit the jackpot. Goren was at  
one of them."

Deakins felt like all the weight of the world had been  
lifted off of his shoulders. He couldn't believe what  
he was hearing. He was elated. Looking at Alex he  
interrupted her with a barrage of questions, "How is  
he? Where is he? Is he awake? Did you get the guys  
who did it?"

Alex put up her hand to stop him. She sadly replied,  
"We still can't find him. We know he's alive, but  
he's disappeared again. He was at St. Mary's Mission.  
A doctor treated him. He woke up with amnesia. He  
doesn't remember us, who he is, where he's from, or  
his job. The dealers were the ones that were there  
when he woke up. I think he's trusting them, thinking  
he doesn't have anyone else. They got him to go out a  
window and leave. He's out there without his memory."

Deakins nodded, the happiness and excitement gone.  
The severity of the situation was sinking in. His  
close friend and star detective was in major trouble  
still. Deakins looked up at Alex and solemnly asked,  
"He trusted them? What do you want to do now?"

Alex opened her mouth to speak, but she stopped, not  
sure what to say at first. Nikolas decided to take  
advantage of the quiet. He hesitantly asked, "Wh-what  
happened to Detective Goren when he was a kid? Why is  
it a big deal if he remembers?"

Alex took a deep breath. She knew Bobby wouldn't want  
all of his secrets announced to everyone. Besides,  
honestly, she was more worried about him remembering  
his children. She vaguely replied, "Let's just say  
that Goren didn't have an idealist childhood. Having  
him remembering it isn't going to be pretty."

Nikolas arched his eyebrows. Realizing he wasn't  
going to get any more out of them, he changed topics,  
"Ok, fine, so how are we going to find them?"

Looking back at Deakins Alex purposed a plan, "We  
search the compound. You know that's where they're at  
now, and we have a reason now. We know they live  
there. We're searching for a person, and we'll  
probably find the evidence to put these guys away for  
more than the kidnapping too."

Deakins nodded. He answered, "As good a place to  
start as any."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Bobby sat on a couch. The bandages and casts,  
obviously, were still on him, but he was looking  
better since he had gotten cleaned up at the house.  
He found he liked the designer suit he was wearing,  
even if it was a tad bit short. He was engrossing  
himself into trying to make sense out of the few  
scattered pieces that was his memory. So far he had  
female cop, a woman talking to herself that he called  
mom, and rows and rows of books in a library. Luis'  
voice brought Bobby out of his thoughts, "Carson  
deserves something for all the shit he's done for us.  
You can't deny that."

They both stopped in the doorway, realized he was  
there. Martin immediately gave Bobby a smile that he  
immediately recognized as insincere. Martin politely  
asked, "How you doing?"

Bobby gave them a smile as insincere as Martin's had  
been. He carefully gave them a half-truth, "Better.  
Can't remember a thing, but better."

Luis nodded. He replied, "Nothing at all? Listen,  
whatever you need. We're here to help."

If Bobby Goren had to chose two qualities in people  
that he didn't trust, they would have to be gushing  
and insincerity. Both traits screamed scam. The two  
people who were in the room with him were exuding  
both, in spades. Bobby's stomach lurched a little.  
The seemingly instinctual distrust and dislike for the  
two men was stronger than ever. Something inside was  
screaming at him to go running from the house as fast  
as possible. Something screamed danger and told him  
that he wasn't safe. But all Bobby could make himself  
do was smile, and reply, "Thanks."

The two men turned around and headed for the door.  
Martin called back, over his shoulder, "Dinner will be  
in a couple of hours Thompson."


	6. Finding Goren and a few answers

The Long and Winding Road: Pt. 6

By: The Confused One

Rating: I think we might have reached PG-13, maybe.

Pairing: If the other chapters didn't make the pairing  
clear, then this one certainly will. It's Bobby and  
Alex, of course.

Warnings: There is some language in this one. Besides  
that, I would say there is much of anything in this  
chapter to be worried about.

Feedback: Why, I'd love some feedback! Please send  
it all to Charmed1500y... I look forward to  
reading it. Thank you.

Archive: An obvious yes to Amorous. Someone else?  
Just let me know where it's going, please. Thanks  
lots.

Summary: This chapter basically concludes the first  
part of this fic, and it begins the second part.  
Yeah, it's one of those. This is a LONG fic, and I'm  
over apologizing for that fact. LOL

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own a thing. Only wish I did.  
Please don't sue.

Bobby maneuvered his arms around, in order to take a  
bite of the meat that was on his fork, as he listened  
to Martin and Luis prattle on about what they were  
going to do now that they were in charge. This, in  
turn, was making Bobby less and less comfortable.  
Their coldness just reassured him that his instincts  
about them, from the start, were correct. They  
weren't being honest with him. They weren't to be  
trusted, and he was definitely not under any illusion  
about how they felt about him. He knew that they saw  
him as expendable or even more so than their own boss.  
He painfully took a sip of his red wine. He was too  
busy still trying to make any sense of his memories to  
pay attention to what they were saying anyway.

Gunfire instantly brought Bobby out of his thoughts.  
He exchanged looks with Martin and Luis. It didn't  
sound good. A man walked into the room saying,  
"People are here to search the mansion. They have  
SWAT guys."

The three men were instantly on their feet. They all  
found themselves brandishing their guns. Watching the  
two men walk off, Bobby breathed relief. He didn't  
trust them enough to want to go with them through  
this, and she was pleased to see that they didn't seem  
to want him with them anyway. Bobby took off in a  
different direction. Bobby could hear the screaming  
from the SWAT guys mainly, gunfire, and running.  
Going through the dark halls of the house, Bobby made  
his way through, hoping he wouldn't get spotted before  
getting out the back door. Suddenly rounding a  
corner, he came gun to gun with one of the cops. A  
lone cop held her gun on Bobby as Bobby held his on  
her.

Squinting in the dim light, Alex's eyes immediately  
lit up. Gasping she shakily asked, "Goren? Bobby?"

Staring at her in confusion, Bobby suddenly realized  
that he recognized her. She was the cop from the  
visions and the clinic. Ignoring the names she used  
for him, he venomously spat, "You."

Alex was taken aback by the hatred in his voice. She  
tried again, "Bobby. Yeah, it's me." She shook her  
head, remembering he didn't remember her. She  
explained, "Look. I know you don't remember me, but  
we know each other…"

Bobby cocked his head to the side in his familiar  
gesture when he's dealing with exceptionally  
belligerent suspects. He bitterly interrupted her, "I  
know who you are. I know you're a cop. I know you've  
been following me around. I saw you at the clinic. I  
know we've talked before. What do you want from me?"

Alex closed her eyes, realizing that she barely missed  
him at the clinic. Deliberately keeping her voice  
steady and low, Alex started to explain, "Bobby."

Bobby roared an interruption, "Thompson."

Alex cringed slightly at the thought of calling him  
anything but Bobby, Robert, or Goren. She tried  
again, "Listen to me, please. I don't know what  
exactly they've been telling you, but you're a cop.  
You're my partner. You're name is not Robert  
Thompson. You're name is Robert Goren. We're in  
Major Case."

Staring at her, Bobby began letting the words sink in.  
Staring at her, his stomach began to lurch again. He  
just knew. He could just feel it. She wasn't lying.  
He could trust her. With relief he lowering his gun,  
it was killing his arms that both had casts and  
bandages. He tilted his head slightly again. He  
ventured, "Eames?"

Alex's eyes lit up again. She saw it in his eyes,  
realization. He believed her. He trusted her.  
Hearing her name, Alex wanted to cry again. With a  
huge smile, Alex egged him on, "Yeah. That's me,  
Bobby. You're remembering me, us."

Bobby watched as she lowered her gun now too. He  
wasn't sure how to process the information. He wasn't  
sure how to truly believe it. Something inside  
screamed that she was on his side, that she was  
telling him the truth though. Something about her,  
about them, felt so right to him. He knew it had to  
be the truth. At a loss for words, Bobby asked, "A  
cop? Partners?"

Alex smiled slightly. She guaranteed him, "I promise  
you you're a cop, and we're partners." Looking away,  
Alex picked up the radio attached to her belt. She  
radioed in, "Deakins, I found Goren. We'll be coming  
out, here in a second. Over."

The radio made a crackling sound before Deakins  
radioed back. They could tell he was smiling, as he  
spoke, "Thank God. I'll see you both in a minute  
then."

Bobby was still in shock. He wasn't entirely sure how  
to respond to her. He wasn't sure how he felt. He  
weekly replied, "I'm sorry."

Alex smiled a real smile now. It felt good too.  
Releasing some of the tension felt good. Looking into  
his eyes again, she never remembered being happier to  
see him. She quietly choked out, "I was so afraid I  
was going to..."

Bobby looked down at the floor, painfully aware of the  
amnesia. Looking back up at her, he echoed his own,  
earlier words, "I'm so sorry."

Alex closed her eyes and let some of tears fall. She  
knew. He might believe her. He might trust her, but  
he didn't remember her. Holstering her gun, Alex  
watched as Bobby painfully did the same. Pulling a  
badge out of her pocket, Alex was shaking. She thrust  
it out for him to take. She whispered, "This is  
yours. I've kept it with me."

Bobby took the badge with his right hand, and opened  
it up. Small glimpses of interrogations, paperwork,  
books, their house, and kids instantly seemed to come  
back to him. He was the one shaking now. Looking  
back up at Alex, glimpses of kisses, sharing food, and  
research surfaced. He whispered, "Alex. I really am.  
I am so sorry."

A few more tears fell down Alex's cheek. She was  
happier than she ever imagined being. Moving forward  
she engulfed Bobby in a hug. She whispered, "I love  
you."

Giving Alex a light kiss, he let her take the badge  
back. Watching Alex put it in his pocket, he  
admitted, "I know. I love you too. God, Hayley must  
be terrified."

Alex nodded emphatically. She explained, "Yeah.  
She's with Kate right now. I, I couldn't. Nothing's  
out yet. Bobby, we, we can't keep this a secret after  
this. Somebody is going to find out."

Bobby stared at her, a little confused now. Trying to  
piece it together, he was only getting frustrated. He  
finally just asked, "Kate?"

Suddenly remembering again that he didn't remember,  
Alex instantly answered, "My sister."

Continuing to give Alex a confused expression, he  
asked, "No one knows?"

Alex closed her eyes once again, realizing he didn't  
remember that much. She simplified it, "No. No one  
knows. We're not married. We even have P.O. boxes so  
that Deakins, our Captain, doesn't know. It, it  
started out, us trying to keep our relationship quiet.  
We didn't want to walk away from our partnership then  
have things fall apart. By the time I got pregnant,  
we knew. We could never tell anyone. We didn't want  
different partners, and we knew they would have been  
forced us into different shifts and partners. We know  
the rules. By default, with the department Ryan and  
Hayley were surrogacy gigs. We've just, always found  
a way. We've always just found someone to watch them,  
and we've always purposely kept from talking about  
them at work."

Bobby blinked a couple of times. He wasn't sure his  
brain could handle anymore at the moment. He finally  
spoke, "Alex. Your parents…"

Alex put her hand up to stop him. Shaking her head,  
she explained, "My family thinks we're married, and  
we're not partnered together. We just happen to work  
at the same time, a lot. See what I mean? It's a  
mess, and it's all about to come crashing down around  
us. Not that I can complain that much. We've kept  
this whole thing going this long. Someone is bound to  
figure it all out after this though. Especially since  
Ryan was involved. That nephew story will only hold  
so long, especially when you don't even know where  
your brother is."

Bobby put up his left hand to stop her. Slightly  
angry, he backtracked, "We've been insane enough to go  
around giving everyone a different story, and it's  
actually held for over sixteen years?"

Placing her hand to her forehead, Alex once again  
explained, "It's my fault OK? I started the whole  
mess by lying to Kate about why we spend so much time  
together. They bought elopement."

Bobby moaned. Shaking his head, he began pacing. He  
finally spoke, "This is a nightmare."

Alex closed her eyes before nodding. She finally  
admitted, "One we've been living in for seventeen  
years now. One I started, and you've never let me  
forget it either. Believe me. I know we need to get  
this out. It's about to blow up in our faces anyway.  
God, I even have Hayley lying to Kate to protect this  
thing. It's gone to far. It's already cost us Ryan,  
and it's corrupting our daughter. I regret every day  
that I started this mess. I should have listened to  
you. So please don't start on that tirade again.  
Look. Whatever happens, this is definitely not the  
place to talk about this, with each other or anyone  
else. Deakins is here. We're going out there. We're  
talking to him for a few minutes, then you're getting  
checked out by a doctor. We'll go from there. No  
arguments."

Bobby smiled. With a nod, he replied, "Fine, but if I  
have to see a doctor, you're doing the talking to  
Deakins."

Alex laughed now. Turning around, she whispered,  
"Come on Bobby. Time to go home."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Reaching the front door, they were surrounded by other  
SWAT officers. Making their way past them, Alex  
opened the door. Stepping outside behind her, Bobby  
was surprised at the sheer volume of SWAT guys who  
were waiting outside. Bobby whispered, "A lot of  
people just to come find me."

Alex smiled again. She explained, "We figured we  
could get some other evidence while we were searching.  
You know, plain sight."

Bobby laughed. Shaking his head, he replied, "I'm  
sure Carver loved that one."

Alex laughed now. She admitted, "You're right. He  
doesn't know we're using it for more than just looking  
for you."

Arching his eyebrows, Bobby replied, "Didn't think  
so."

Before Alex could defend her self, a voice spoke  
behind her, "Goren! Eames! It's about time you two  
showed up."

Spinning around, Alex came face to face with Deakins.  
Giving him a small smile, she assured him, "Yeah,  
sorry about that. It took a few minutes to get him to  
come out here."

Looking Bobby over, Deakins took note that he did,  
indeed, look very good for someone who had just fallen  
off a building a day ago, and he said so, "You are  
definitely one lucky son-of-a-bitch. Made out quite  
well."

Both Bobby and Alex smiled. It was true, and they  
both knew it. Bobby was very lucky. Especially since  
Santos was dead. Alex spoke up, on Bobby's behalf,  
"Yeah, he's definitely lucky. He can walk and  
everything. He just managed to break a couple of  
ribs, his right-arm, left wrist, and even a couple of  
fingers, and some bruising in areas."

Deakins realized then that he had managed to get into  
a staring contest between himself and Bobby. He  
didn't like it. Bobby was too withdrawn, too quiet.  
He offered, "And a good case of amnesia too. Right?"

Bobby looked away finally. He admitted, "Yeah."

Alex closed her eyes before jumping in, "He needs to  
get checked out by a doctor. Then, if they let him,  
I'm taking him home."

Deakins nodded before ordering his long-time friend  
and start detective, "Goren, either way, take a few  
days before you come in. All the work can wait till  
Friday. I want you to take it easy."

Nodding his head, Bobby expressed his gratitude,  
"Thanks."

Bobby turned around to follow Alex to the car. Taking  
a few steps away, Bobby was quickly out of Deakins'  
view and mind. There was too much to do. When an  
officer seemed to appear out of nowhere, to talk to  
Alex. Bobby watched for a moment, slightly away from  
the two of them. The young officer had a bright smile  
on his face. He greeted, "Eames. I'm glad to see  
you. Someone told me. You found him?"

Alex smiled at him. Nodding, Alex instantly pointed  
to Bobby, who grudgingly stepped forward into the  
conversation. Alex introduced Nikolas and Alex,  
"Nikolas, this is my partner Bobby Goren. Goren, this  
is Nikolas Smith. He helped me find the clinic you  
were at."

Putting on his best polite face, Bobby explained,  
"Thank you. I'm glad she wasn't alone."

Nikolas smiled. He could tell already that he liked  
Bobby Goren. He cared about her, his partner. It was  
obvious to Nikolas why she had wanted him back. He  
was just glad that someone who cared about her was  
partnered with her. He had definitely grown to like  
her. She was strong, determined, and independent. He  
liked that. Nikolas politely replied, "It wasn't a  
problem. You've got a god partner Detective Goren."

Bobby smiled brightly. He assured Nikolas, "I know.  
Don't worry."

Nikolas nodded, accepting Bobby's reply. He replied,  
"Just take care of her."

With each exchange, Bobby found himself liking Nikolas  
more and more. He wasn't afraid of them, like many of  
the officers they met at scenes, and he cared. It was  
obvious to Bobby that Nikolas liked Alex. Bobby  
assured him, once again, "I do my best."

Nikolas nodded again. Moving his attention back to  
Alex, he replied, "It's been a pleasure Detective.  
I'll see you around?"

Alex gave Nikolas a half smile. Nodding, she replied,  
"I'm sure we will. Then you'll get to see what all  
the fuss is about. All of this. Slow night."

Nikolas laughed now. He turned around, and began  
heading to the house, to finish his job, Nikolas  
called over his shoulder, "Sounds fun. Can't wait."

Alex had a huge smile on her face till she noted where  
Bobby was looking. A couple of SWAT guys were  
escorting a handcuffed Martin and Luis to a squad car.  
Alex asked, "Recognize them?"

Bobby gave her a small nod. He replied, "Martin  
Domingus and Luis Lopez. They're the two that took me  
to the clinic."

Alex eyed them angrily now. They were being escorted  
right by them now. Walking by Alex, Luis looked  
bitterly at her before spitting on her. All four  
people instantly stopped walking as Bobby got into  
Luis' face. Keeping his voice in controlled rage,  
Bobby demanded, "Apologize."

Luis laughed. He challenged, "Make me Goren."

Doing much of anything else, only reminded Bobby that  
he was still hurt badly. He wouldn't be doing  
anything to anyone. Then it registered. Luis had  
called him Goren. Bobby instantly retreated a little.  
The SWAT guys instantly kept going with them.  
Wild-eyed Bobby stared at Alex. She said out loud  
what he was thinking, "He shouldn't know your name.  
Santos knew before he even got up there. It was a set  
up from the get go."

Anger immediately engulfed Bobby. He bitterly  
continued the thread, "It's not a coincidence that  
they made both Ryan and I. This proves it. There's a  
leak somewhere in the department."

Alex closed her eyes. She questioned, "But we tried  
to find it when Ryan died. We're not going to get  
anywhere near it."

Bobby refused to believe it. He wanted this guy. No  
one was going to stop him from making the mole pay for  
what happened. Gesturing, Bobby asked, "When I fell  
of the roof, I, I can't remember the set up. What was  
the set up? Who was where?"

Alex closed her eyes and thought for a moment. She  
began naming people and positions, "That ass Hodges  
was with me in the van. A team: Winston, March,  
Nelson, and Parker were waiting for the signal right  
outside. Carson was on the other roof. He was the  
sharp shooter…"

Alex instantly stopped at the look on Bobby's face.  
He had stopped pacing, and was looking at her now.  
Wide-eyed once more, Bobby explained, "Carson is the  
leak. I overheard part of a conversation about a guy  
named Carson. Something about him deserving something  
for everything he had done for them. It's too  
coincidental, and they didn't want me to hear it.  
They shut up the moment they realized I was in the  
room."

Alex closed her eyes again. If she could have thrown  
something in that moment, she would have. Instead,  
she kept her voice low and angrily spat, "I should  
have known! I should have fucking known! He didn't  
even take one shot at Santos! I, I wrote it off. I  
believed. I thought he was being straight with me."

Bobby instantly looked back up at her. Staring into  
her eyes, a look of panic swept over them both. Bobby  
admitted her worst fears, "I've been inside. I have  
information. I can put them both away for life now.  
I don't know why they didn't just kill me before, but  
they're going to want to keep me quiet. They're,  
without a doubt, going to want to keep me away from  
that trial. I snooped, like always."

Alex spun around and began running to the car. Biting  
back the pain that was still in his leg, Bobby was  
right behind her, running. Starting the car, Alex  
didn't even bother putting on her seatbelt. Starting  
the engine, she bitterly blew off some steam and  
threatened, "No one touches her. I swear to God. If  
someone so much as lays a finger on her, there will be  
hell to pay."

Praying that they were over reacting. Bobby tried to  
convince them both, "I'm sure she's OK. I'm sure  
we're over reacting."


	7. A kidnapping with a side of truth

The Long and Winding Road: pt. 7

By: The Confused One

Rating: Again, we'll go with PG, PG-13.

Pairings: Bobby/Alex. he he he

Warnings: Some language. Other than that, fairly  
tame.

Feedback: Please review and send all the great  
feedback to Charmed1500y... Thank ya much.  
It'll be greatly appreciated. By me, of course! LOL

Archive: Amorous: Yap. Anyone else who wants it, just  
let me know where it is.

Summary: Bobby and Alex kick off their search for Hayley.

Disclaimer: I'm sure it's obvious by now that I have  
affiliation with Dick Wolf, any of the L&Os, the  
stars, or anything else remotely related to the  
entertainment industry besides my TV. LOL I'm making  
no money, so please don't sue.

The car tires screeched as Alex pulled up to the curb  
in front of her sister's house. Alex didn't even turn  
the engine off. By the time she got around the car,  
Bobby had his gun drawn already. Alex drew her gun as  
she reached him at the front door. Suppressing her  
anxiety and panic, Alex calmly knocked on the door,  
and called out, "Kate. It's Alex. You here?"

After a moment, Alex met Bobby's eyes. Taking a deep  
breath, Bobby tried the door. He instantly met Alex's  
eyes again, as the door opened. They immediately went  
inside and began looking around the house.

It was obvious that there had been a struggle.  
Swallowing hard, Alex closed her eyes, and holstered  
her gun. Bobby met her back in the den. Holding back  
tears, once more, Alex reminded him, "Kate has three  
kids, and Hayley was here. Her husband is out of town  
on business. What the hell am I supposed to tell him  
Goren?"

Bobby gave her his best sympathetic look before trying  
to comfort her a little, "They're not going to hurt  
them. They're using them all as leverage. They're  
going to want me to keep quiet, and let the men who  
killed Ryan walk to get them all back unharmed."

Tears began to trickle down Alex's face. Through the  
tears, she chokes out, "They've got our baby, Bobby.  
They have Hayley. They have my sister and my nieces  
and nephew. I, I can't let something happen to them.  
I want, I need my family back, but, but I can't walk  
away from Ryan, and what they did to him. Bobby, we have to fix this."

Engulfing her in a hug, Bobby rubbed her back, and  
tried to sooth her, "Shh. I know Alex. I know. I  
promise you. We'll get them back. I'll get them  
back, and they won't walk. They're going to pay for  
everything they've done to us."

After a moment, Alex pulled away. Looking into his  
eyes, she again said out loud what they were both  
thinking, "We have to talk to Deakins. We can't do  
this alone, and I'm not risking my daughter's life  
with those guys. I don't trust them to bring her back  
in one piece."

Jerking her chin up, Bobby assured her, "It's OK.  
It's all going to be OK. We'll talk to Deakins. We'll get a CSU team out  
here. We're going to find them, and I'm going to do  
everything in my power to make sure those bastards rot  
in jail for the rest of their life. Trust me."

Alex nodded. Taking a deep breath, she was composed  
again. Sitting down on the couch, Alex suggested,  
"You should. Please call him."

Bobby nodded. His instant reply was, "Yeah."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Deakins walked into the house, unsure of what he'd  
find. He was relieved to find he beat the CSU team to the scene. Walking  
into the den, he was greeted with the sight of Alex  
leaning over on Bobby's shoulder, just so. Seeing  
Deakins, she immediately sat up. Bobby greeted  
Deakins, "Hi."

Sitting down in the chair across from the couch,  
Deakins just came out and asked, "What's going on, you  
two? Ever since the kid, Ryan, came in volunteering  
to be an informant, there's been something wrong. This is a lot bigger, a lot more  
personal than just a bunch of drug dealers. Since  
Ryan was killed you two have both been in a funk. You  
were barely talking to each other for a while,  
self-imposed isolation with a side of vengeance. Then  
you talk me into this hair-brained scheme, we drag two  
other departments in on it, and you get flung off a  
roof. Now we've found you, and you're both, for some  
reason, at her sister's, and believe she and her  
children have been kidnapped. You have an  
explanation?"

Alex closed her eyes, and leaned her head back. She  
muttered, "This is such a mess."

Seeing the confused look on Deakins' face, Bobby swallowed and began to  
explain, "It was a set up. The roof. Carson is the  
dirty cop. He, he tipped them off. Probably got a  
pay off too."

Deakins arched his eyebrows. Not quite sure what to  
do with the information, Deakins urges him to  
continue, "OK. Start from the beginning."

Moistening her lips, Alex jumped in, "I should explain  
most of this. I started this whole mess, and I  
remember it."

Bobby closed his eyes before nodding. Taking a deep  
breath, he suggested, "Right."

The silence from Deakins unsettled Alex. It was  
obvious that it was sign that someone needed to  
continue and fast. Ignoring the tightening of her  
chest, she began, "About seventeen years ago now

Bobby and I began dating. We kept it quiet. Neither

of wanted to mess up the partnership if things didn't

work out, but things did work out. Cliff notes version,

we told my family that we got married. We've had two

kids, that I told the department were surrogates. And

we've continued to participate in active deception to the  
department. The department is pretty much the only  
people who use the P. O. boxes. We've had a house  
with our kids for years. Our daughter is named  
Hayley. She's nine. Our, our other was Ryan, as in  
the informant Ryan. The things he was seeing at  
school angered him. He wanted to help. We didn't  
want him involved, didn't want him hurt. But he was  
determined. So he came to the precinct and, where he  
knew we couldn't stop him, became an informant. It's,  
it's why we pursued the case. We wanted to help him,  
protect him. You know the rest. We couldn't let it  
go. They weren't going to walk away from this.  
Hayley was staring here, with my sister and her kids,  
while I looked for Bobby. I had to find him. Hayley  
stays here a lot when we're working. When Ryan showed  
up, Carson must have, have gotten suspicious. He must  
have figured it out. Fed them the information, and they've

been playing us since, to get us all right here, right now."

Bobby, who was staring at the rug, explained, "They're  
going to try to deal with us. My silence, and our  
daughter, Alex's sister, nieces, and nephew go free."

Alex sneered, "They've got us right where they want  
us, Ryan's killers or our daughter, but I don't think  
they counted on us figuring Carson out or finally  
coming clean. We've made enough mistakes, and Hayley  
isn't going to pay for them anymore. When Ryan died,  
weeks ago, we decided that we had to come clean. Now,  
now it's almost out of control, and it has gone way beyond

the secrets we've kept."

Deakins sat in stunned silence. His silence before  
had been strategic, to get the story out, fast, but  
the story they had just told him was beyond anything  
he had ever even began to imagine. He finally managed  
to utter, "This, this is so outside of anything I was  
even thinking, ever could have imagined. You, should  
have, could have told me. What did you think I was  
going to do?"

Closing her eyes, Alex kept a tear from falling. She  
admitted, "It was stupid. We know that. We should  
have told you. Of everyone, you should have known."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Deakins railed, "Yes, I  
should have known. I would have done what I could  
to... As it is, I don't even know where to begin. I  
should probably take both of your badges, start a full  
out and out IA investigation into it, find a different  
way to get Lopez and Domingus prosecuted, find out  
what Carson does know, and even have social services  
take Hayley when we find her. I can't do any of it  
though. Twenty minutes ago even, I would have said  
that the two of you were the most honest, most  
reliable, best detectives I have. So, I'm going to forget

protocol for the moment. Getting Hayley and the  
others back is all we're focusing on right now. We'll  
talk about the rest later."

Alex took a deep breath. With a nod, Alex replied,  
"Thank you."

Bobby finished her thoughts, "It's all we want."

Deakins closed his eyes and nodded. Standing up, he  
replied, "I know. Listen, I'm going to start some  
inquiries into what Carson has been doing lately.  
When we go to IA, we're going to have some proof."

Bobby nodded. He finally met Deakins' eyes. Bobby  
answered the unspoken question, "We're staying in this  
thing. We're part of the game. If we get out of the  
case, it'll send up red flags anyway. We'll stay with  
the CSU unit when they get here. Go home and get some  
sleep Deakins. God knows someone should be able to  
get some."

Deakins almost smiled. He nodded his head and headed  
for the door, a little relieved. The Bobby Goren he  
knew was back. Beyond getting a very quiet  
investigation going on Carson, and letting them run  
the kidnapping case, he was sure there wasn't anything  
he was going to be able to do for them at this point.  
He just hoped he would be able save them from the  
hailstorm from IA and the brass.


	8. Conversations

The Long and Winding Road: 8

By: The Confused One

Rating: I'd give this one a PG, PG-13

Warnings: angst warnings That's about it. :)

Feedback: Yes, PLEASE. And send it to Charmed1500y...

Archive: Of course, to Amorous Intent. Are you someone else? Just  
let me know where it's going.

Summary: The search for Hayley begins. Bobby and Alex deal with each  
other and their feelings about what's happened.

A/N: I hope this chapter doesn't bore you too much. I needed them to  
deal with some stuff. And I wanted to show what was happening to  
Hayley, Kate, and her kids.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Walking back into Kate's den, Bobby stopped. Alex had her head  
leaned back against the couch. He was fairly sure she was asleep.  
He whispered, "Alex?"

Immediately sitting up, Alex met his eyes, "Sorry."

Bobby shook his head. Sitting down beside her, he assured her, "No,  
I'm sorry. You're the one who hasn't gotten any sleep in over twenty-  
four hours."

Alex leaned back again. Ignoring his comment, she asked, "They  
almost done?"

Bobby sighed before answering, "They're done. We should go."

Alex nodded, knowing he was right. Her phone ringing stopped her  
from getting up. Picking it up, she answered, "Eames."

A voice on the other end, demanded, "Let me talk to Goren."

Alex closed her eyes, knowing it was all about to start. Handing the  
phone to Bobby, she whispered, "For you."

A little confused, Bobby answered, "Goren."

The voice quickly instructed him, "I'm sure you know we have a few  
people that mean an awful lot to you and your whore by now. If you  
want to see them again, I suggest you start forgetting what you saw  
in the mansion."

Closing his eyes and biting back the boiling anger at the situation  
and Alex's name being slandered. Keeping his voice controlled, he  
demanded, "Let me talk to Hayley."

The man laughed, and the next thing he heard was another  
voice, "Hello?"

Bobby instantly lit up. He called into the phone, "Hayley! Hayley  
Sweetie."

Hayley also instantly brightened, "Dad! Mom found you?"

Bobby took a deep breath, he assured her, "Yeah. I'm fine. Look,  
listen to me. I have a couple of questions, and I need you to answer  
them with just yes or no. You understand?"

Bobby got his answer immediately, "Yeah."

Bobby smiled a little now. He replied, "Good girl. Is Aunt Kate  
with you?"

It took a moment, but Hayley finally answered, "Yes."

Staring at Alex he nodded before asking, "What about Jamie, Heather,  
and Will?"

Hayley spoke quickly, "Yes."

Bobby nodded again to Alex, who he could tell was desperately wishing  
she were talking to Hayley. Bobby quickly asked, "Is everyone OK?"

Hayley's answer was again, quick, "Yes."

Bobby took a deep breath and thanked God. He began asking his  
questions as fast as possible, "Do you know where you are, at all?"

Hayley's answer was hesitant, "No. No, I'm sorry."

Suddenly he could hear the phone being jerked from her. The man  
spoke again, "Remember what I said Detective. If you want to talk to  
her again, you better forget what you saw. Better help them get off."

Shutting off the phone Bobby resisted the urge to throw it. He  
angrily spat, "The game's started."

Alex, who had jumped to her feet when she saw that Bobby was talking  
to Hayley, asked, "What did she say? Is she OK?"

Handing the cell phone back to her, Bobby assured her, "She's OK.  
She said they're all together, and they're all OK. She doesn't know  
where's been taken to."

Alex nodded. She reminded him, "I got a hold of Richard. He's on  
the first flight back. He'll be back in time for lunch. Everyone's  
meeting at my parents. We'll tell them then."

Bobby nodded. Bobby persisted now, "Come on. We need to go home to  
get some sleep. We can't do any more tonight."

Alex begrudgingly nodded her agreement. She knew he was right. They  
had to go. They had to sleep. They'd never find Hayley if they  
didn't sleep. Pulling the keys out of her pocket, she held them out  
for Bobby, explaining, "I don't think I could make it back to the  
house."

Bobby nodded, understanding just how tired she was now. He knew  
better than anyone that she only relinquished her keys under extreme  
circumstances. Leading the way, he informed her of what the CSU team  
had told him, "There isn't any sign of blood. It's something to be  
thankful for. No one is really hurt. Hayley just assured me of  
that."

Alex nodded as she locked the front door. She guessed, "I'm sure  
we'll be waiting for the test results on the rest."

Opening the car door for her, Bobby agreed, "Yeah, the finger prints,  
hairs, pictures, we'll be getting the reports in."

She nodded and slipped into the seat with a thank you. Sliding into  
his side of the car, Bobby continued, "I've got Harrison and Trevor  
tracking down names and addresses for associates and any properties  
under any of their names."

Alex nodded. She acknowledged, "Good. We won't need to waist time  
doing it in the morning. We can get started on checking the places  
out."

Bobby continued driving, and the car slipped into a silence the rest  
of the way. Neither knowing what to say to even begin to help the  
other or make other understand what they were thinking. Neither  
truly wanting to deal with the sudden tension anyway.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Walking into the bedroom, Bobby began trying to peel off the too  
short suit jacket. Alex, who was following him in, smiled slightly  
at his struggling. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she  
whispered, "Let me."

Silence engulfed the room as Bobby silently let Alex help him. He  
closed his eyes. He knew they had to talk. The silence would be  
worse than any conversation ever could be. Bobby turned around and  
faced her. He had every intention of telling her everything he felt,  
everything he was thinking. But the words felt short, "Alex. I.  
I'm sorry. Before, when I… I didn't mean it…"

Alex had been relieved to have him turn around. She had hoped  
talking would be easier this way. She had hoped that the silence  
from the car would be broken, but she was wrong. She didn't have the  
energy to even attempt to untangle what he meant or even what he had  
actually said. All she knew was that her daughter was missing, and  
she was sure that he somehow thought it was her fault. Meeting his  
eyes, Alex held back the tears once more that night. Choosing to  
ignore his attempt to break the silence, Alex began trying to  
explain, "No, I'm sorry. I've just about shut down here. I, I know  
I can't. It's just… if anything happens to her…"

Bobby, suddenly realizing where this was going interrupted her. This  
time he was able to say the words, "Alex. Don't. Please don't.  
We'll find her. We'll get her back."

Alex was still staring into his eyes. This time the words sunk in.  
She understood them, and his eyes told her that he was trying to  
believe it too. Finally looking away, Alex replied, "We have to get  
her back."

Bobby sat down on the bed before assuring her, "I promise you. We'll  
get her back."

That was enough to bring a few of tears to the surface. Meeting  
Bobby's eyes again, she warned, "Don't make promises you're not sure  
you can keep."

Bobby's eyes darkened a little. Refusing to break eye contact he  
assured her, "This one I'll keep."

Wiping away a few tears, Alex assured him, "This isn't your fault."

Looking away, Bobby, knowing he couldn't continue the conversation,  
changed the subject, "We have to get some sleep."

Alex closed her eyes. She suddenly knew why he had been so quiet,  
and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. Wiping away the last  
of her tears, she resigned herself to playing by his rules before  
agreeing. She knew he'd talk when he was ready to talk, "Right. We  
have to try to sleep."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Waking up in cold sweats and with a start, Bobby instantly sat up,  
and froze for several seconds willing the pain to dissipate. Alex  
woke up from the movement. Sitting up her self, the worry in her  
voice was evident as she asked, "You OK? What happened?"

With a nod, Bobby lowered himself back down slowly. He assured  
her, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Bad dream. Sorry."

Staring down at him, Alex couldn't help her self, "About?"

Bobby insisted, "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

Arching her eyebrows, rolling her eyes, and shaking her head, Alex  
answered for him, "Memories then. Your father's women, your father  
leaving, your mother's schizophrenia, or your brother leaving?"

Blinking, Bobby looked away before admitting, "My mother."

Closing her eyes, Alex knew those, usually, were the worst. Rubbing  
his cheek, she assured him, "You're OK. I promise. I guess we've  
found the downside of your memory returning. At least it seems  
you're getting it back though."

Meeting her eyes again, Bobby admitted, "A little, just enough to  
understand what you meant. There are huge gaps."

Alex settled back down. Taking a deep breath, she assured him  
again, "It's OK. You're here now. Nothing's going to happen."

With a sigh, Bobby guaranteed her, "I know. Like I said, I'm fine."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Alex reached over and hit the off button on the alarm clock. She  
groaned before sitting up. Looking over at Bobby, she realized he  
was awake and staring out their window. She whispered, "Hey."

Bobby met her eyes. Working through the pain, he sat up as he  
answered, "Hey."

Alex tried her best to hide the worry on her face. Pushing a few  
pieces of his hair out of his face, she ventured, "What were you  
thinking about?"

Meeting her eyes once more, Bobby admitted, "My family. You know, my  
mother, father, brother, our children, you."

Rubbing his cheek, Alex gave him a supportive smile. She knew  
exactly what he was thinking, and she knew none of it was true. She  
also knew that she wasn't going to be changing his mind. It was in  
his head. He was sure of it. She proceeded to turn around so that  
she was facing him. Keeping her voice calm and quiet, Alex tried to  
comfort him, tried to make him understand, "Bobby, look at me."  
Having Bobby's chocolate eyes immediately meet hers, Alex  
continued, "Good. Listen to me. You are not a curse. You did not  
cause your mother's schizophrenia, your father's irresponsibility,  
your brother's coping method, our son's death, or our daughter's  
kidnapping. None of it has been your fault. In fact, you're right.  
We'll find her. She's going to be OK. We just. We have to believe  
that. We have to know that right now. It's all we have, faith. I  
believe in you, in us, in our daughter. I love you Bobby Goren, and  
we're going to make it through this, the three of us. Then, the  
three of us, will piece our lives back together."

Bobby nodded. Logically, he knew she was right. He had no control  
over his mother, father, or brother, and he couldn't have predicted  
what had happened with his children, but he couldn't help but feel a  
little responsible. In fact, he was almost sure he was cursed to  
loose and hurt everyone he cared about. Never having lost eye  
contact with Alex, Bobby confessed, "With everything. It just feels…  
It can't all just be horrible family luck and history. That's a  
thought that keeps running through my head."

Momentarily looking away, Alex took a deep breath. She instantly and  
emphatically replied, "It's not you. I can't make that any clearer  
Bobby. It's not you. As much as I'd like to prove it to you, we  
have to get ready. We have to find our daughter."

With a nod, Bobby painfully made his way out of the bed. Alex  
couldn't help but smile as she made her way around the bed to help  
him finish undressing, she commented, "Leave it to you to still end  
up in a suite."

Bobby smiled brightly at this. He had to agree. It was rather  
ironic.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Waking up, Hayley instantly scanned the room she was huddled in. She  
met her aunt's eyes. Kate called out to her, "Hayley. You're awake."

Hayley nodded. With a sigh, she admitted, "Yeah."

Kate watched as Hayley walked closer to join them. Kate assured  
her, "They left us alone for the moment. Someone will probably be  
back in here in a little while."

Inspecting the food, Hayley got the message and explained, "They put  
me on with my dad. He asked some questions, if we were OK, if we  
were together, but I couldn't tell him where we are. I don't know  
where we are, and they took the phone right after I told him that I  
didn't know."

Kate nodded. One of the twins, Heather, interrupted, "Does that mean  
we're not going to get to go home yet mommy?"

Closing her eyes, she tried to assure her daughter, "Don't worry  
Heather. We're going to get out of here. I'll make sure of that."

Hayley tilted her head slightly. She demanded, "How exactly?  
They're not planning on letting us go. We've seen their faces.  
We're not blindfolded. I know what that means."

Kate closed her eyes, knowing her niece was right. This was bad,  
very bad. Before she could say anything, Will, Heather's twin, spoke  
up, "Aunt Alex and Uncle Bobby will find us, right, mommy?"

Reaching over, Kate stroked her small son's head. She tried to  
assure him, "Yeah, they will. Don't worry. You're getting out of  
here, I promise. I'll find a way to get you all out."

Kate's oldest, Jamie, arched her eyebrows. She instantly  
questioned, "What about you? I'm not leaving you here."

Hayley finally gathered her courage, and tried the food. She was  
surprised it was edible. She listened as her aunt answered Jamie's  
question, "Don't worry about me Jamie. Priority is getting the four  
of you out. I'll be fine. I just. I need to make sure you four are  
safe."

Taking a bite of her food, Jamie restated, "I'm not leaving you here  
mom. I don't want anything happening to you."

Kate was horrified at the thought of her daughter not taking  
advantage of a possible escape insisted, "Listen to me Jamie. If you  
get an opportunity to get out, get out. That goes for all of you.  
If you can get to a phone or anything you're doing more good than if  
you stay. I mean that."

Hayley nodded, understanding and agreeing with her aunt. She  
replied, "Same thing Grandpa and my parents would say."

Kate nodded. She agreed, "Yeah. They would. Hayley, do you have  
any idea what this is about?"

Lowering her head, Hayley debated telling the truth. After a moment,  
she decided Kate needed everything that she knew. Hayley  
explained, "The bad guys who killed Ryan hurt my dad. Mom didn't  
know where he was. She went to find and help him. I think they're  
the same people."

Jamie suggested, "We're retaliation because Aunt Alex saved Uncle  
Bobby?"

Shaking her head, Kate replied, "No. That doesn't make any sense.  
How would they have known who we were? I don't even understand why  
Alex would have been helping them find him. This just isn't making  
sense."

Swallowing a bite of food, Jamie tried again, "Someone following Aunt  
Alex? Someone who really has it out for them?"

Throwing her hands in the air, Kate replied, "It's possible. I don't  
know. I'm sure will explain everything when they find us."

Snorting, Jamie retorted, "If they find us."


	9. The Next Day

The Long and Winding Road: Ch. 9

By: The Confused One

A/N: This chapter is most definitely one of the more intense chapters I've ever written for a story. So, I hope everyone likes it. R&R

Bobby Goren and Alex Eames rode the elevator up 1PP in silence. Lost in thought, Bobby didn't even notice Alex's silence. Something just didn't add up to him. Something was wrong. Someone specific was behind this. Someone targeted them. Alex's voice broke through his revelry, "Bobby."

Immediately realizing the door was open, he wordlessly followed her out. As they walked into the bullpen, they caught Trevor's eye. Smiling he called up, "Detective Bobby Goren everyone."

Suddenly just about the whole room was on their feet clapping. Bobby smiled and did his best impression of a bow in his current state. Looking at Alex, he was glad to see her laugh. Walking over to meet Harrison and Trevor, Alex asked, "Any luck with associates or addresses?"

Harrison handed her a folder. He explained, "That's what we got so far."

Alex smiled slightly. She nodded and replied, "Thank you. This is important."

Before any of them could say another word, Deakins appeared at his office door. He called out, "Goren. Eames."

They both knew what they were in for. Giving each other a look of support, Alex put the file on her desk and the two walked into the office. Alex closed the door behind them. Deakins sat back down at his desk. He waited for Bobby and Alex to get seated before getting started, "I'm going to send Harrison and Trevor to talk to Lopez and Domingus. I didn't want anyone talking to them without talking to you two first. I know what's at stake."

Alex's mind reeled. All she could think was that it should be her and Bobby in there questioning Domingus and Lopez. Harrison and Trevor didn't know. They didn't know what the situation was and what questions to ask. She spoke up, "Shouldn't we talk to them?"

It was to Alex's shock that before Deakins could speak up, Bobby did. He emphatically answered, "No. It has to be someone else. They're not afraid of us. They know us. They won't talk to us."

Alex was immediately on her feet. She exploded with anger, "They know where she is Bobby! If they don't than they know who does! Harrison and Trevor won't ask them! If you think I'm going to stand around and wait for someone else to give me the answers I need then you're either stupid or insane!"

Alex almost gasped. Realizing what she had just said, she stopped. Bobby was on his feet now too. Trying not to react to her last comment, he shouted back, "You think I don't care what happens in that room? You think I don't want to find Hayley and the others? We're not going to get anything out of them Alex!"

Deakins stood now too. Raising his voice, he jumped in, "Both of you stop it, now! I know you're stressed to the max, but it's not going to find Hayley."

Alex was on the verge of tears. She closed her eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry. It's just. They know something. I know it, and maybe they'd tell us if we went in."

Bobby shook his head. He desperately reached out to the cop part of her, "Alex. You know better. You're a cop."

Alex stared into Bobby's eyes. Neither Bobby not Alex seemed to notice Deakins was even in the room anymore. Still in a virtual whisper, she almost pleaded, "I'm a mother."

Bobby ached to hug her, to hold her. If he hadn't broken his arms he would have. He tried to reason with her, "They think they have us under their thumb. They think they're in charge. Everything. Everything that has happened, Ryan, the set up, the kidnappings. It's all about us. Someone is after us specifically Alex. They've targeted us, and they've gone to a lot of time and trouble to set up this web. They want to back us into a corner. They don't think we're ever going to tell anyone about us. They think they own us, and I'm tired of playing their game by their rules. This is not about getting two drug dealers off on all the charges. They were part of this whole thing to begin with."

Alex knew he was right. Realization dawned on her. She knew where he was heading with this conversation. Her eyes grew huge. Horrified, she hesitantly added, "We have them the ammunition. Oh God. We did this."

Bobby tried to sooth Alex, "Hey. No one is getting away with this. It'll be alright."

Before Alex could reply, Deakins interrupted, "Sorry to interrupt this, but I'm going to have to talk to Harrison and Trevor."

Bobby and Alex eyed each other. When she nodded, Bobby agreed, "Yeah. It's time."

Alex nodded again. She explained to Deakins, "Tell them the truth, the whole truth. Tell them the story. If they're going in there, they need to ask the right questions. We're not losing Hayley over this."

Looking back at a semi-surprised Deakins, Bobby asked, "What about Carson? Any news?"

Deakins shook his head. He cautioned them, "You two know the firestorm this is going to cause? It's going to change everything?"

Bobby explained, "It's our daughter Jimmy. Nothing else matters but her."

Alex agreed, "We made that mistake with Ryan. We thought we could control the situation. It's not happening again. I will not lose her."

Deakins nodded and explained, "Once it's out a real investigation will get underway on Carson. As of now, nothing is sending up red flags. As long as you two are ready for what's about to happen."

Bobby assured him, "We can handle it. Look, I want to observe the interrogation. I spent time with Domigus and Lopez. I need to see their reactions."

Alex looked at Deakins too. She insisted, "I'm watching too. You two are keeping from talking to them, but you're not keeping me out of the observation room."

Deakins nodded. He agreed, "You can both watch."

Without another word, the three left the room. Going back to their desk, Alex heard Deakins call out, "Trevor. Harrison."

Sitting down, she could feel Bobby's eyes on her. Trying to ignore him, she opened the file Harrison had given her. As she stared at it, she realized it was no use. She couldn't focus on the file with him staring at her. With a sigh, she met Bobby's eyes. He whispered, "I'm sorry."

Alex was thrown. She knew none of this was his fault, and she had been the one who crossed the line. She insisted, "No. It was me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said in there. I'm not handling this very well."

Bobby tried to reassure her, "No one is expecting you to. This isn't any normal case for either of us. It's Hayley this time."

Alex nodded. She knew he was right. Staring at him, she struck at how calm he was. She was relieved. Alex knew she didn't have the energy to be his anchor too. She was barely keeping herself together. For once, somehow, their normal roles were reversed. She watched him fidget some. It occurred to her that she was very very lucky. She had the man she loved, and this man would save the day again. He would find her family and their daughter. She had hoped and wanted to believe it, but it wasn't until this moment that Alex believed it. She quietly spoke again, "Thank you."

Bobby looked at her a little odd. He wasn't sure what she was thanking him for. He wasn't exactly getting them very far in finding Hayley. He was feeling useless. He was worried. He was worried about Alex, his daughter, Kate, and her kids. He was worried about who was behind all of this. He was worried about what their endgame was. Most of all, he was worried he wasn't going to be able to hold himself together long enough to do what was needed to find the people he cared about. He was desperately trying to be strong for Alex. She was definitely in no state of mind to hold him together this time. She needed him this time. She was never the one falling apart. It was always him. She was always catching him. Then again, everything had changed since Ryan died. She was going to need him to catch her this time. He was left wondering if he, himself, could get them through this. Before he could really contemplate the thought she had said the two words he was least expecting. He stammered, "I haven't done anything."

Alex smiled slightly. His ability to underestimate himself always amazed her. She couldn't understand how he didn't see his own strength when everyone else did. He was special, and Alex was determined to one day finally get him to see it. She explained, "Bobby, you've done more than you realize."

Bobby was even more confused. Before he could speak or think further, Deakins' office door opened again. He watched as Trevor and Harrison took off down the hall towards the interrogation rooms. They hadn't even stopped to look at them. Bobby was pleased. They were focused. Deakins walked out, closing the door behind him. Eyeing Bobby and Alex he nodded. That was all they needed. Standing up, Bobby and Alex followed him down the corridor.

Reaching the observation room, they slipped in with Deakins. Carver was there. He looked at Bobby and Alex with slight confusion, but Bobby assessed he apparently decided not to ask. Bending over, Bobby whispered into Alex's ear, "It'll be OK."

Carver watched as Alex closed her eyes and nodded. There was something different. He wasn't sure what, but he could feel it. He was about to comment on Bobby coming out of his ordeal intact, when Trevor and Harrison walked into the interrogation room. Harrison introduced them, "I'm Detective Harrison, and this is my partner Detective Trevor."

Everyone in the observation room turned their attention to the two drug dealers seated in the interrogation room. Lopez spoke up first, "What can we do for you Detectives?"

Trevor decided not to play games. He pointedly asked, "You can tell us where you and your bosses have stashed your latest kidnap victims."

Domingus immediately answered, "We don't know anything about any kidnappings. Look, we thought Detective Goren was one of us."

Harrison didn't let him go any further, "We're talking about Kate, Jamie, Heather, and Will McKinley and Hayley Goren."

It was then that Alex and Bobby watched to gage Carver's reaction. Instantly looking at the two detectives, he demanded, "Someone want to tell me what is going on?"

Alex sighed and explained, "It's really too long a story to get into right now. I promise. We'll tell you."

Carver eyed them carefully. He was beginning to get some ideas of what this could be about, and he didn't like a single one of them. Trying to ignore his suspicions and worries Carver turned his attention back to the two detectives in the room. Lopez faked his best sincere look and replied, "I don't know anything about that."

Domingus agreed, "I don't either."

Alex's eyes darkened. The anger and fear began to creep back up her stomach like a vile virus. Harrison nodded. He changed tactics, "Ok. Let's try something you do know. Who do you work for?"

Domingus insisted, "We're it. Detective Goren killed our boss. What makes you think we have anything to do with these kidnappings?"

Lopez offered, "You can find Santos in the East River somewhere."

Alex's anger grew. It coursed through her body, almost choking her. She listened as Trevor persisted, "We know you're working for someone or with someone. I'm sure the plan didn't originally include Santos ending up dead, but you worked around that right?"

Lopez insisted, "We're not working with anyone."

Trevor hammered some more, "What about at the house. You knew Detective Goren was a cop, even when he didn't. Yet, you brought him to your house. Why?"

Domingus hissed, "We don't know anything."

That was it. The rage in Alex bubbled over. She was so angry she could barely see. Before anyone could hardly blink, she was out the door. Throwing the door open to the interrogation room, Alex yelled, and "Where are they? I know you two know more than you're letting on! You two better start talking, or I swear to God I will kill you both!"

Alex stood across from the two men at the edge of the table. She was totally ignoring Harrison yelling her name. She leaned forward and continued, "I'm not playing games. Where are they?"

It was then that Bobby grabbed her arm and with Deakins help forced her out. Closing the door, she aimed her fury at Bobby, "Why did you just do that?"

Bobby stood inches from her face and demanded, "That was my question!"

Furious, Alex turned from him. She spat, "I was trying to get answers."

Bobby understood, but he knew he had to get through to her, "Not like that. They weren't going to tell you anything Eames."

Clinching her jaw and fist, Alex pivoted and punched Bobby right in the jaw. Turning again, Alex stormed off, leaving Deakins and Carver in shock. Bobby just stared off after her.


	10. Graveside Chat

The Long and Winding Road: Ch. 10

By: The Confused One

A/N: I promise things pick up in the next chapter. Enjoy the little short chapter here. And please, please review. Thanks.

Deakins was about to ask if Bobby was OK, when the Detective spoke, "Tell everyone what's going on. We have to find them. I don't care what it takes. We need a manhunt. I. I have to go talk to her."

Deakins understood. But he worried about Bobby running around the city looking for Alex. He asked, "How are you going to find her."

Still looking in the direction Alex had left, he assured his Captain, "I know where she is. There's only one place she would go right now."

Carver and Deakins just watched as Bobby walked down the hallway. Carver looked over at Deakins. He questioned, "You want to tell me what's going on around here?"

Deakins nodded. With a sigh, he implored, "Come with me. I really just want to tell this story once more."

Carver nodded. Trevor and Harrison exited the interrogation room. Trevor explained, "We finally got the lawyer calmed down. They're talking now. What happened?"

Deakins explained, "They were watching the interrogation. I think it was too much for her."

Harrison shook his head. He snorted. He wasn't going to say it out loud, but he really thought it had been a bad idea to have them in the next room. He skirted the issue, "Well, I think we pretty much blew any hope of getting anything out of them."

Deakins sighed again. He agreed, "Yeah. You're right. Go back to your desks. I need to talk to everyone."

Trevor knew what was coming. He could feel it. He asked, "You're going to tell everyone the story, aren't you?"

Deakins nodded. He started towards the bullpen, where the rest of his men were. That's when Harrison spoke up, "Where are Goren and Eames now?"

As they walked, Carver answered, "They left. She took off. He's gone off after her."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Alex stood in front of the headstone. Bending down, she traced the name with her hand, 'Ryan Goren'. A tear fell down her cheek. She could smell the green grass and the freshly moved earth. She could see the other grave that had just been dug. The mourners would be there soon. Looking back at the headstone, she whispered, "I'm so sorry, baby."

She heard his footsteps quietly behind her. Alex closed her eyes. She knew who it was. Angrily, she hissed, "Go away Goren."

Bobby stayed behind her. He wasn't walking away, and he wasn't letting her push him away. He simply replied, "No. We need each other right now."

Alex sighed. She desperately wanted him to go. She just wanted to be alone right then. She needed to think, and she was embarrassed. She had acted like a fool, and she knew it. She also realized she wasn't getting rid of him that easily. She relented a little, "I'm sorry about before Bobby. I just. I'm scared, and I need a little space right now. I want to be alone. Please. Please go."

Bobby breathed a little relief. At least she was speaking to him. He tried to lighten things up a little, "I had to take a cab down here. I just got here. I'm not going anywhere that quickly."

It was obvious that his attempt at humor hadn't registered with her. She stood up and turned around and finally faced him. Tired and drained she simply asked, "What do you want from me Bobby?"

Bobby had come to make her angry again. He wanted her to fight. He wanted her to get it out, to yell if she needed to. He was also hoping she'd finally cry. He could tell she needed to, but she was afraid to. Bobby hadn't cried either. He had been too busy trying to be strong for her. Besides, he was Bobby Goren. He never cried. He internalized. He pleaded with her, "It's not what I want. It's what Hayley needs. She needs you right now. She needs both of us. She needs us to be cops right now, not her parents. She needs us to focus on finding her. But you're not there right now. Look around. It's just us here. Yell, scream, cry, whatever it takes, but we have a file full of names and addresses of known associates of Domingus and Lopez. I need you to be able to go through that file, and we both know you can't like this."

Alex blinked back the tears. She weakly confessed, "I can't. I'm so afraid. If I start, I'm not sure I can stop."

Bobby nodded. He understood the feeling, but Alex had always been there to catch him. She had always been the one to help him stop. He hoped he could be that for her too. He finally spoke softly and soothingly, "That's what I'm here for."

It caught Alex off guard. She wasn't sure why, but it did. She was at least glad he had refrained from telling her how it was impossible to cry forever or something as stupid. She quipped, "You know. I hate this side of you."

Bobby smiled slightly. He never meant to do it, but sometimes he found himself even psychologically dissecting Alex. She always hated it when he did that. Which is why he avoided it, but this called for desperate measures. He simply begged, "I'm Sorry. Just. Please work with me."

Alex nodded. She understood. With a sigh, she explained, "I. I do have faith in you Bobby. I believe we'll find her. I know that. I'm just scared. I can't lose her. It'll be too much."

Bobby forced his arm to cooperate. He reached out and touched her face. He assured her, "I promise I'll find her. I have to. It's my fault."

Alex pulled away. Anger flashed across her face. She insisted, "This is not your fault. At least, it's not more your fault than mine. We set ourselves up for this. Don't you dare go blaming yourself for this."

Realizing he hit a soft spot, Bobby pushed a little harder, "It was me and my stupid brilliant idea to go after these guys. If I had walked away and let vice and narcotics handle it none of this would have happened."

Alex shook her head. She yelled back, "You were trying to feel useful. You were trying to avenge our son's death. I took Hayley to my sister's. I got them all kidnapped. It was my decision to lie to everyone. I honestly thought we'd be able to keep this up for forever. Yeah. I'm real brilliant. I let them use this to kill my son and kidnap my daughter. This is my fault Goren. It's not yours."

Bobby was taken aback by how much anger and regret she had. He hadn't realized how much she blamed herself. He had to get her to get it all out. He yelled and pushed a little harder, "I went along with it. I let it continue. I put us in this position. Not you. My fears. My fears got in the way of what we should have had."

Alex shook her head vigorously. The tears started. She realized what he had just done, and it was too late. She would have been angry if she hadn't been crying. Touching his cheek, she choked out, "No, Bobby. What we've had. It's been good. It's been perfect, till this nightmare started."

Bobby nodded. He whispered, "It's not your fault either. You didn't cause this. I love you, and I love our children. We did what we thought was best."

Alex continued to cry. For the first time, she really looked at the bruise she had left on his face. She sighed as the tears subsided. She apologized again, "I'm sorry. I can't believe I hit you."

Bobby wasn't surprised. All the anger and pain was eating at her. He tried to reassure, "I can take it. I've had worse, and you were in a very bad place."

Alex winced. She was afraid he was talking about his mother or father. The last thing she ever wanted was for him to compare her to his parents. She had borderline contempt for them. They had put Bobby through hell as a child. She looked away. She replied, "I have no excuse. Please don't try to make it alright."

Bobby could only sigh. This wasn't what he had hoped to accomplish. He redirected her attention, "We should go Alex. We have a file to go over."

Alex nodded. In spite of herself, she was grateful that Bobby had come. She needed him. She needed the talk they had just had. Maybe they could get through this now. The two walked wordlessly to the SUV.


	11. The Answer to Who

The Long and Winding Road: Chapter 11

By: The Confused One

A/N: Let's see who can figure out what Alex and Bobby have figured out.

The drive back had mostly been in silence. The anxiety and worry ate at them both. Bobby, of course, was absorbed in thought. His mind raced through all the information they had so far, desperate to make the pieces fit. It was then that he remembered. As Alex parked, Bobby hesitantly spoke, "Before we go up, you should know. I. I told Deakins to tell the squad. There are APBs out and a real search to find them."

Alex didn't dare look at him. Taking a deep breath, she turned the engine off. She knew getting more people involved was important. She knew it was the right thing to do. She knew it had to be done, but a part of her feared that she and Bobby weren't prepared for the fallout. She knew it was a selfish thought, but she couldn't help that. It was the reality of the situation. She focused on the good. A lot of people in the NYPD would now be looking for her little girl. She finally spoke, "We could use the manpower."

Bobby nodded. That much was true. He followed her lead out of the car. He was almost afraid to speak. He was still having trouble being the shoulder in the relationship. He had hoped he had gotten them through it at the cemetery, but she seemed to be in a funk. Alex was never in a funk. Slowly walking behind her, he tried to imagine how she managed to pull him back every time. Alex sighed. With that, he ventured, "What's wrong?"

Alex almost laughed. He really could open a can of worms with that question. She finally admitted, "Is it not bad enough that whoever this has it out for us? Did they really have to drag our children and my family into it?"

Bobby nodded. He understood perfectly what she was saying. This was someone going for the knife in the gut and twisting it several times. Stopping at the elevator he tried to comfort her, "It does seem to be overkill. They won't hurt any of them, for now. They're using them as more than just to get at us. They're using them as bait right now. They're trying to get Domingus and Lopez off, for some reason. I just don't know why them and why us.

Alex snorted. She marveled at how he could put his foot in his mouth sometimes. She was pretty sure he was trying to make her feel better. She had news for her partner, it wasn't. Not to mention, this time anyway, she couldn't care less about his whys. She just cared about who and where. Her mind drifted back to her sister and family dragged into this nightmare. She figured Richard was getting back to town by now. She hated the thought of her brother-in-law going through this. Looking down at her watch, she groaned. She finally pressed the button and explained, "We're going to be late for lunch."

Confused, Bobby quickly asked, "What?"

The doors to the elevator opened. She jogged his memory, "Lunch at my parents. Richard just got in."

Realization dawned on Bobby. He knew he was forgetting something. Following Alex into the elevator, Bobby was getting visibly agitated. He tried to explain, "But we need to look at the file."

Alex nodded. She smiled slightly. He really was two steps behind today. She chalked it up to worry and information overload. He tended to let the little stuff slide when he was engrossed in a case. It didn't surprise her he forgot about lunch. She suggested, "I know. I'll call and tell them we're going to come by later this afternoon. It'll be a compromise."

Bobby nodded. He knew as well as she did that they couldn't ignore her family right now. If they didn't go to Alex's parents sometime during the day, the whole Eames family would most definitely descend upon the major case bullpen demanding answers. He smiled slightly. It was nice and refreshing to know a family that connected and close. Bobby assured her, "We can probably go by about 3:00 or so."

Alex sighed and nodded again. Her family was just going to have to understand. She closed her eyes and knew they were in for it for it when she called. Her family wasn't very patient, especially when it involved family.

Bobby's thoughts had moved on. He braced himself for what they were in for when the doors opened. He knew IA and the brass were going to be up in arms, not because they were together. That could be handled. It was more than that. Bobby and Alex were the best pair in Major Case. They weren't going to be happy about having to split them up because of the rules. He figured most of their colleagues though would be alright.

The doors opened, and Bobby, again, followed Alex out. The bullpen seemed especially quiet and empty. Bobby and Alex exchanged a look. Something was up. Most of the desks were empty. Walking towards their desks, fellow detective, Andrea Williams, caught Alex's eye. Andrea smiled. Alex let Bobby go around her. Andrea whispered then, as Alex passed, "It's about time you two came out of the closet." Alex smiled now too.

Catching up with Bobby at their desks, Alex scanned her desk for the file. Looking up at Bobby, she explained, "Goren, the file is gone."

Bobby met Alex's eyes. Before he could react further, Trevor walked up and explained, "Pretty much the whole squad had divided the file and are checking up on the names and addresses listed. That's where everyone is. The rest of us are doing research and background on all the names. We saved you two a copy of the file to look over."

Alex smiled a real smile. She knew the people she worked with. They could be totally wonderful sometimes, but this was going way beyond the call of duty to a fellow officer. Looking at Bobby, she knew he was at a loss for words. He still had trouble sometimes with the concept of family and friendship. She spoke for them both, "Thank you."

Bobby nodded. He wasn't used to selfless generosity for him. They both knew the whole squad their own stack of cases and concerns, but they were taking the time to really help them. He finally found his voice, as he took the file, "Yes. Thank you."

Trevor smiled. He always liked Goren and Eames. The rest of the squad did too. They didn't always show it, especially since Goren had a reputation, but it was true. They were basically revered as the standard and the best around the squad. He was about to make a smart-ass comment when Deakins yelling from his closed office could be heard clear into the squad room, "I don't care what the rules are!"

Bobby and Alex exchanged a look of guilt. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he was yelling about. Trevor explained, "They suspended Carson, pending investigation. But they've been in there for awhile now arguing about you two. Well, we're assuming it's about you."

Alex put her hand to her head. Taking a deep breath, she sighed and sadly replied, "Count on it."

Bobby nodded. They both knew it was about them. Watching her, he understood how she was feeling and what she was thinking. He was feeling and thinking the exact same thing. Guilt was an ugly feeling. Bobby and Alex felt like their world was falling apart. Bobby knew Jimmy Deakins was silently feeling like his world was falling apart too. This had been last thing Deakins had been expecting. Sitting down, he tried to give Alex a reassuring look too.

It was Trevor who broke them both out of their thoughts. He simply assured them, "I'll be at my desk if you need me."

Alex nodded. Looking up at Trevor she felt the need to express her gratitude again, "Trevor, really, thank you." She watched Trevor go back to his desk. Looking over at Bobby, she saw him already flipping the file open. With a sigh, she sat down too, and playfully agreed, "Right. You look at the file, and I'll call my parents."

All she got in return was a nod. Alex smiled. While it could be totally irritating to have him seem to ignore her, right then it was kind of comforting to her. If he was so engrossed in his file he was barely processing what she said it meant the world couldn't be off its axis completely. Picking up her phone, she dialed the familiar number. She waited for the greeting, "Hello."

Alex was relieved that it was her mother. Alex tried to verbalize what needed to be said, "Hi mom. Bobby and I aren't going to be able to make it for lunch."

Ellen Eames scrunched her eyes. She had very much felt the need to see her only other daughter. She didn't want to be denied that one comfort, at least one of her girls was OK. She was sick with worry and this wasn't helping. Her daughter and some of her grandchildren were missing and her other daughter was acting very odd as of late. Ellen didn't like it. Alex and Bobby were hiding something. She could feel it. Ellen tried to refrain from getting into it, "Are you two going to come at all?"

Bobby sometimes acted like wasn't paying attention at all, but he always was. He heard every word she said. He just hadn't wanted an argument about the file. He was just glad she had let it go. He began scanning the names. Bobby listened as Alex answered, "Yes. Closer to 3:00 though."

It was almost too much. Ellen was too worried to be tactful. She insisted, "Alex! We're all very worried here. Is there a lead?"

Alex closed her eyes. She hated hearing the worry in her mother's voice, but it couldn't be helped. Alex silently blamed herself. It was her fault. She had to go running off and wasting time. Alex tried to delicately explain, "We're trying to find a lead mom. I know you are all worried, but we really don't have many developments to tell you about the case. We're not going to leave you guys out. We find something out you know we'll tell all of you."

Ellen sighed. She believed Alex. Really, she did. She just felt there was something Alex needed to confess, to get off her chest. Ellen pushed a little, hoping for some sort of information, "Alex, I'm not just worried about Kate and kids you know."

Alex knew what her mother was getting at. Her mother could sense things as well as Goren sometimes. Alex was surprised they had gotten away with it this long without her mother's suspicions. Alex tried to reassure her mother, "I know. I promise I'm OK, and we'll talk. I'll call you if anything comes up before 3:00. I promise."

Finishing another page, Bobby turned the page. He was determined to find one that popped out at him. Then he saw the name.

On the phone, Ellen gave up, "Alright. As long as you promise."

Bobby, agitated, stood up and started pacing. He looked over at Alex, who locked eyes with him. She could see the panic on his face. He needed Alex off the phone, and he needed it now. Alex watched the crazed look in his eye and cut off her call with her mother before he got worse, "I'm sorry. I have to go mom. It may be that lead." Hanging up, she focused on Bobby. She could tell he was about to fly off the handle into about a million different places. He seemed to be suddenly not comfortable in his own skin. She summoned her best authoritative and demanding voice, "Bobby! What's wrong?"

Before he could speak, the door to Deakins office opened, drawing the whole room's attention. Two men headed to the elevator. Deakins stood in the door. She scratched his forehead and headed over to Bobby and Alex. He looked like he had gone thirteen rounds and lost. Reaching Bobby and Alex, he quietly explained, "I'm stalling. If I have to break you two up, it will be after we find them."

Bobby was back to his pacing. Grabbing the file, he basically ignored Deakins. He walked over to Eames desk. He pointed to the name. Alex was started. Looking up at Bobby she said, "She's dead."

Bobby shook his head. He knew Alex would get it in a moment. He read the name, "Ella Miyazaki is dead."

It took a moment and it clicked. Looking at Deakins, who was totally confused and then back at Bobby, she hesitated, "You don't think…"

Bobby's agitation grew again. He was beginning to really get a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He insisted, "It has to be her. I'm so sorry Alex. It was never about us. It's about me."


	12. Falling Apart

The Long and Winding Road: Chapter 12

By: The Confused One

A/N: I guess this is the chapter you get to find out if your mental guess of who set all of this in motion was right. Enjoy. Remember to R&R. Thanks.

Alex instantly met his eyes. She wasn't going to let him take responsibility for this. She insisted, "Don't you dare do that. Don't pull away from me right now. It's always been us with her. We're partners Goren. You don't think I've been a part of this? I've always been part of her game as much as you have."

Deakins ignored the partners comment. The rules made it clear that they wouldn't be partners for much longer. He was still confused though about what they had found. Deakins demanded answers, "Who is Ella Miyazaki?"

Looking at Deakins, Bobby suddenly remembered he was there. He explained, "Nicole Wallace."

Suddenly it all clicked for Deakins. He cryptically asked for confirmation, "Right. Ella was the girl she took in…"

Alex nodded and cut him off, "Yeah."

Bobby resisted the urge to throw the file. He was angry now. Nicole had always enjoyed toying with him but bringing his family directly into their long standing vendetta was crossing lines he knew Nicole probably didn't even see. She was angry that he and Alex were together. Remembering the long distant conversation he had had with Nicole, he knew she was also angry that he was happy and had children. She must have found out and lashed out. Bobby walked over to Trevor's desk. He had to find out what they had on Nicole. He asked, "What do you have on the name, Ella Miyazaki?"

Trevor looked at the list. He nodded and pulled out a file from his stack. He explained, "I thought that one would catch your attention. She was one of yours. I saved it. It says she's dead."

Bobby nodded. He didn't really want to go into a long explanation at the moment. He simply reassured Trevor, "The file is right. I need to know if you pulled any addresses or any known associates that were recent."

Trevor wasn't completely sure what this was about, but he could tell it was important. He hoped he'd get the full story, eventually. Though he felt he had pieced a lot of it together while he had put the file together. Trevor pointed to the file and answered, "Page 3. Nicole Wallace is the only known associate in the system."

Bobby quickly flipped to page three. He smiled. There was indeed a recently purchased home in Yonkers. Looking back at Trevor, he added, "Thank you."

Alex watched Bobby return to their desks. She had watched him in silence with Deakins. She was hoping he had a real lead, and she didn't like Bobby's demeanor. He was suddenly more fidgety than normal and she could see the rage in his eyes as he walked back over to their desks. He was out for blood. She understood it. Nicole had come after their children. It was enough to make them both see red. It was more than either of them could take from her. She knew she was going to have to keep him in check now. He was crossing into his red zone. No one affected him like Nicole. She twisted him inside out. It took everything Alex had sometimes to get him back in the real world. Alex wasn't sure she had the strength this time. Hayley was going to have to be enough to keep him grounded. Bobby walked up behind her. He put the file down in front of her and pointed to the address. He triumphantly added, "She's getting sloppy."

Alex met his eyes. She hated to admit it, but someone had to say it. Someone had to keep reality in sight, "Don't be so sure she's there. She could be toying with us."

Deakins agreed. They couldn't count their chickens before they hatched, but he was glad they were making progress. They at least now had a name of a suspect. He added, "You're going to need backup."

Alex nodded in agreement. It was definitely a bad idea for the two of them to go in alone. She suggested, "Get us a SWAT team and some uniforms and have them meet us at the building."

Alex stood up and grabbed her stuff. Bobby scooped his stuff up too. He handed Deakins the open file and wordlessly followed Alex to the elevator.

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Nicole walked into the poorly lit room. She smiled slightly and addressed her hostages, "They're going to bring you lunch soon. I wanted to know though Kate, what do you really know about Alex and Bobby's relationship?"

Kate tried not to react. Something about this woman sent chills up her spine. She seemed to be complete evil to Kate. Kate faked disinterest, "I know what I need to know."

Nicole smiled wider. She laughed. She definitely saw the family personality similarities now. Walking back out the door, Nicole taunted, "Ask your niece. She knows more than you do."

As the door closed, Kate looked at Hayley carefully. Hayley was trying to pretend nothing was wrong. Kate knew better and finally asked, "What don't I know?"

Hayley looked at the floor. She took a deep breath and looked back up at Kate. She admitted, "Mom and Dad aren't married and are still partners. No one they work with knows about Ryan and me."

Kate was shocked. She rubbed her face with her hand. She didn't like where all of this was going. It wasn't looking good for them. Kate finally asked, "And who is that woman?"

Hayley shrugged. She explained, "I have no idea. I swear I don't know. She apparently knows my parents though."

Jamie was confused. She didn't like what was being implied, it didn't track. She asked, "So we've been kidnapped because some psycho-bitch is angry that Bobby and Alex aren't married?"

Kate shook her head. Staring at the door, she corrected her cousin, "No. I think she's angry that my parents got together in the first place."

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Alex was in the hall of the abandoned building and leaned against the wall with her eyes closed. She could feel him walk over towards her. He took the same position across from her against the other wall. His words were barely audible, "I'm sorry Alex. You were right. She set this up to buy herself time."

Alex finally looked over at Bobby. She assured him, "It's not your fault. We had to check this out. Maybe we'll find something here that will help."

Bobby finally met her eyes. He nodded. He hoped she was right. Maybe there'd be a clue here, but he doubted it. Nicole never did anything by accident. He should have remembered that before. He replied, "I should have remembered she doesn't do anything without a plan. It's been a long time since she's surfaced."

Alex felt almost defeated. She was so afraid they had hit the last dead end. With a shrug, she weekly answered, "She's always twisted you inside out."

Before Alex could respond, a familiar voice called after her, "Detective Eames."

Alex drew her attention to the officer approaching the two of them. She smiled slightly. She greeted him, "Officer Smith. Hi."

Nikolas looked her over. He stopped smiling. She looked like she had been to hell and back. He questioned, "Why are you and Detective Goren here?"

Alex sighed. She stood up straight and explained, "We're looking for a woman, Nicole Wallace. She. She has our daughter."

Nikolas stopped instantly. It had been the last thing he had expected. He had a million questions all at once. But nothing came out. Before he could compose himself enough, another officer shouted from a room, "Detective Goren. We found something."

Bobby hadn't even bothered to move the whole time Alex had talked to Nikolas. The other officer had his instant attention though. He wordlessly followed the officer into the room. Alex and Nikolas were right behind him. Sitting on a small card table in the middle of the otherwise empty room was a letter addressed to Bobby. Snapping on gloves, Bobby picked it up and opened it.

_Bobby,_

_I'm disappointed in you. Surely you know better than to think I'd make it this easy. Tisk. Tisk. You're losing your touch. Hayley really is a beautiful little girl. You're very lucky. If you want to see her, Alex's sister, nieces, or nephew again I suggest you do as my associate told you earlier. I want Luis Lopez and Martin Domingus released. If they don't get released you'll never see your daughter again._

_Nicole_

Bobby glared at the note. His rage built. She was gloating. It was almost more than Bobby could handle.

Still trying to digest what Alex had told him, Nikolas was getting impatient. He needed some answers, and he was increasingly worried about Alex. He finally broke the silence, "What does it say?"

With those words, Bobby saw red. Slamming his fist into the table, he dropped the note and stormed out.

Nikolas jumped with the slamming and watched Bobby leave. He looked over to see Alex staring at the letter. She was holding and her hands were shaking. With a sigh, he reached out to her, "I'm so sorry Eames. If I can do anything…"

Alex put her hand to stop him. Looking at the CSU tech, she put the note back down and replied, "Bag it."

Nikolas followed her out of the room. She was leaning against the wall again. He didn't see Bobby anywhere. He ventured, "Is he OK? Do you need to go find him?"

Alex shook her head absently. She stared into space and weekly answered, "He knows where I am."

Nikolas shook his head. He had never seen anyone look so defeated. He tried again, "I can. I'll go find him."

Alex's eyes snapped to meet his. She shook her head and reiterated, "I told you. He'll find me when he's ready. He needs some space."

Nikolas pointed to the front door. He had a feeling she was feeling helpless. He figured she needed something to do, something tangible to try to deal with. He tried one last time, "I mean. He slammed his hand pretty hard on that table in there. With those casts on…."

Alex sighed. She nodded. She silently headed for the door and replied, "He's by the car."

Confused, Nikolas followed. He was going to ask how she'd know that but thought better of it. Intuition between partners wasn't something to be taken lightly, especially partners who had crossed that line. Nikolas decided it would be best if he just kept him mouth shut for awhile.

Following her outside, Nikolas was only slightly surprised to find she was right. There he was, pacing around the car, kicking at the gravel and dirt.

Alex approached him. Shaking her head, she grabbed his arm and began inspecting it. Meeting his eyes, she finally soothingly asked, "How bad does it hurt?"

Bobby sighed. He finally admitted, "Enough."

Alex almost smiled. Shaking her head, she suggested, "We never did get you checked out."

Bobby shook his head no. He cut her off, "No. We have to go to IPP."

Alex sighed. She nodded. She wasn't in the mood to argue and his request wasn't unreasonable. She watched Bobby getting into the car, making sure he really was OK enough to go to IPP instead of the ER. She was grateful to Nikolas. He had managed to get her moving again and give her something to worry about that she could do something about, Bobby. Impulsively, she called back to Nikolas behind her, "You want to come with us?"

Nikolas was a tad surprised to hear her ask. Finding his voice, he answered, "Yeah. Sure. I can come with you."

Alex nodded. She headed for the drivers side and replied, "Get in then."

Nikolas did as he was told. He wasn't surprised at how quiet the ride back to IPP was. He had expected it. Too much stuff was going on with them for idle chit-chat. The three made their way to the elevator and to the Major Case squad room.

Getting off the elevator, Alex had had enough. Bobby hadn't even given her a hint as to why they were back there. She hated it when he did that. She hated feeling out of sync. She hated not being able to read him. Her normally abundant patience was running thin. Annoyed, she pressed Bobby, "So why exactly are we here?"

Bobby sighed. At his desk, he gestured a little and admitted, "We need to talk to Carson. He's the only piece we have left. He's our last lead."

Sitting down, Alex nodded. It killed her to admit it, but she knew he was right. She agreed, "Yeah. You're right. Harrison and Trevor can talk to them. You. You can go watch and do whatever you need to do. I. I'm going to stay here."

Bobby stopped. Realizing she misinterpreted what he had said, he expounded, "No. We need to talk to him."

Alex suddenly froze. She couldn't believe her ears. Standing, she wagged her finger at him and hissed, "What? Aren't you the one who just this morning told me we couldn't…"

Bobby was agitated again. He gestured wildly and insisted, "Yes. Things have changed. This is not the same suspects."

Alex ignored the fact that he had interrupted her to argue back, "That's great Bobby. She has to get involved before you get serious about finding our daughter."

Bobby stopped, stunned. He couldn't believe she had really said it. He watched her walk around him and to the elevators. Bobby had no words, if she was going to be like that. He looked over at Nikolas, who with a sigh was taking off after her. Bobby closed his eyes and sat down.

He knew. She had wanted him to come for her, again. She didn't want Nikolas to come after her, but Bobby couldn't bring himself to follow. All he could think of was what a mess this was. He bitterly decided Nicole would love to see them now. She had finally broken them and, by extension, Bobby feared, him. He wasn't sure exactly where things with him and Alex had gotten so frayed in the last few hours, but he suddenly realized it had. Bobby knew he needed to fix things with Alex, but he was in no mood or place to even try. He wasn't done brooding. Besides, he had a suspect to interrogate. He was going to talk to Carson himself come hell or high water. Nicole Wallace was pure evil, and Bobby Goren wasn't about to lose anymore time.


	13. The Break in the Case

The Long Winding Road: Chapter 13

By: The Confused One

A/N: As a note to the readers of this story who are also reading Misconduct and worried, I promise this one has a happier ending than Misconduct will. I hope to wrap this fic up in just a few more chapters. Enjoy the chapter and remember to review. Thanks.

Bobby took a deep breath. He looked at the Captain's office and then back at Alex's desk. With a sigh, he stood and headed for the elevator. He wasn't stupid. He knew he needed her with him. He wanted her with him. He knew she hadn't left the building this time. He had a feeling he knew where she was.

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Alex paced the roof, feeling stupid. She couldn't believe she had just acted that way. What was that? What was wrong with her? It was the third time in one day that she had lashed out at him and crossed the line. She wondered how much more of that he was supposed to take from her before taking off on his own and possibly getting himself hurt. She wasn't sure she had the answer. When she heard the door open, she was hoping it was Bobby. She sighed with a bit of disappointed to see Nikolas. She greeted him, "Hi."

Nikolas arched his eyebrows. He was definitely aware that he wasn't who she was hoping it was. After a moment of looking at each other, he finally ventured, "He's at his desk brooding. You know, I'd think you two would stay away from roofs."

Alex mentally chastised herself for making her disappointment obvious, but she smiled never the less. She found she liked having Nikolas around. He helped her keep things in perspective sometimes. She finally replied, "Yeah, well, I just needed to cool off and relax for a moment. Nicole Wallace gets involved, and he gets all crazy.

Nikolas restrained himself from laughing, but he did shrug before commenting, "I hate to tell you this, but you are the one who stormed off in a snit. He's down there working to find your daughter."

Alex shot him a death glare. She hated it when people contradicted her. Trying to cover, she argued, "You don't know how obsessive he can get."

Nikolas smiled now. Pointing to Alex, he accused, "Mixed with all that worry about your daughter, you're jealous. You think he cares about Nicole Wallace."

Alex snorted. She wouldn't admit he was right. She just wasn't going to do it, but she wasn't above noticing that it had been a statement of fact, not a question. It just tended to irritate her more. She turned around to face the city, when she heard another voice behind her, "Whatever part of me you think she reaches Alex, she doesn't. The day you can't reach me is the day no one can."

Alex closed her eyes and turned around to face Bobby. Sometimes she didn't get it. Sometime she just didn't know how he was able to say just the right thing at the right time. She turned to face him and assured him, "I know you love me, but sometimes I think she understands a part of you that you hide from me."

Bobby shook his head no. He assured her, "That's not true. You know every part of me. I have nothing hidden from you."

Alex rubbed her forehead. She was feeling stupid, again. She wasn't sure what was going on with her, but she did know she was acting like an idiot, not a cop. Not even the knowledge that most of it was about Hayley being missing was excuse enough for Alex. She tried to explain the real reason she acted out, "You know, sometimes, what really worries me is not being able to read you. It scares me so I lash out, which causes you to retreat more, with just causes me to lash out more. It's a ridiculous cycle. I've been lashing out at you all day, because of it and because I'm afraid of losing Hayley."

Bobby nodded. He understood and agreed, "Yeah."

Nikolas, relieved that tension was gone, suggested, "We should go back downstairs and decide what to do."

Bobby finally really noticed him. He nodded. The three headed for the elevator. He tested the waters again, "We still need to talk to Carson."

Alex nodded. She didn't argue this time. She didn't want to. She did comment, "Deakins isn't going to like the idea."

Bobby shrugged. He wasn't playing their game anymore. He guaranteed, "I'm talking to Carson."

Nikolas was interested. She had heard rumors of Bobby's interrogations, but he was interested in seeing one up close and personal. He finally got the nerve to ask, "Can I watch?"

Alex smirked at the comment. Getting off the elevator, she warned him, "It's not going to be what you're thinking."

Bobby gave Alex and then Nikolas a look. He asked, "What are you thinking?"

Nikolas had to keep from laughing. He shrugged and replied, "I'm not sure. All I know is that according to people it's quite the experience."

Bobby met Alex's eyes. She rolled her eyes and reassured him, "Don't look at me like that. You're the one who cuts themselves, pushes tables around, dances, jumps around, gets slapped, slams their fist on the table, breaks mirrors…the list goes on. There is a reason we have a reputation, and it's not my fault."

Bobby rolled his eyes now too before smiling. Leaning close to her, he whispered, "But you love it anyway."

Alex knew he was right, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. She did smile again though. It felt good to smile. She wanted to smile more. She wanted to get through the bad stuff and get back to their normal lives, such as they were. She just feared that was going to be impossible now. She changed the subject, "His office."

Walking to the door, Bobby knocked. When Deakins gave them permission to come in, the three trouped into the office. Nikolas found a corner to stand in, feeling he didn't have much of a right to be talking. Alex sat down in the chair, leaving Bobby to pace, as per usual.

Bobby began, seeing as it was his idea, "We want to talk to Carson ourselves."

Deakins groaned. He knew this was about Nicole. He tried to persuade them otherwise, "Don't do this to me Goren. It's not a good idea."

Alex sighed. This was going to need something extra. If it got Hayley back, Alex wasn't sure she was above anything. Swallowing her pride, she pleaded, "Please. He's our last lead. The house was a bust. Nicole was toying with us. Hayley is all we have left. We have to get her back. I promise you. We'll do it right."

Deakins rubbed his temples. They were getting desperate and fast running out of leads. He understood that. After a moment, he relented, "Alright. But I'm watching. If it gets out of hand, you're both out of there."

Bobby stopped and met Deakins eyes. With a nod, he replied, "Agreed. Thank you."

Deakins shook his head. Picking up the phone, he warned, "Don't thank me yet. I still haven't gotten you two off the hook with IA. I think they're still going to want to break you two up."

Bobby and Alex exchanged a look. Alex swallowed and nodded. They both knew they were ready for it, if it had to happen.

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Diego Carson sat in the chair, sweating. He knew Goren and Eames were good and unpredictable, and he knew how angry they must be. He assumed they had been the one to turn him in. He hadn't bothered to bring a lawyer. He figured he'd just tell them everything when they walked in. He felt incredibly guilty. He hated what he did, but it was his family on the line too.

Alex followed Bobby into the interrogation room. She instantly recognized the look of guilt on his face. Meeting his eyes, she greeted him, "Hi."

Bobby walked around the other side of the table. He sat down on the table, facing Diego. He looked at his notebook and casually asked, "I think we can skip the denials and go straight to the answers right?"

Diego nodded. He looked defeated and explained, "Nicole. Nicole had my mother. On top of that, she paid me to help set things up, keep track of what you two were doing. She already knew about the kids. In fact, she was the one who told me. I only met her once. Mostly. Mostly I dealt with her lackey, Gage Kingsley. I'm so sorry. I never wanted anyone to die. My mother was just dropped off at my house an hour ago. I swear. I was going to come clean. I just. I had to have her back."

Alex nodded. Sitting in the seat across from Diego, she had no sympathy. She encouraged him, "What does she want with Domingus and Lopez?"

Diego shakily tried to explain, "I swear I don't know. She seemed pretty desperate to get them back though."

Bobby nodded. He looked him over and stood up. With a nod he followed Alex to the door, saying, "You should have come to us."

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Alex sat at her computer. She tucked her hair behind her ears as she scrolled. Bobby leaned just so over her shoulder watching. Deakins was standing just to the side waiting. Nikolas sat patiently in Bobby's chair. He complained, "I feel jipped."

Alex smiled. Glancing up at him, she reminded him, "I told you you'd be disappointed."

Nikolas nodded. He couldn't deny that she had warned him. He asked, "Is that how it usually goes?"

Alex smiled again. Finding what she was looking for, she replied, "No. You missed the Goren show, but you might get to see it soon. He usually plays psychiatrist. I enjoy it in there. I hate it when he does it at home."

Walking away from behind her, Bobby grabbed the piece of paper that was printed. Reading it over, he defended himself, "I don't do it on purpose."

Alex smiled. She followed Bobby towards the elevator. Nikolas followed her. Alex snatched the paper and announced, "That's what makes it worse."

Deakins called after them, "The team will meet you there."

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She watched from the car. A SWAT team and Bobby and Alex right behind them. She frowned. She knew they'd find him, and she had to get gone. Nicole called up to her driver, "Let's go."

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Alex didn't see the same guilty look Diego Carson had had on his face on the current occupant of the interrogation room. She sighed. Bobby was going to have to crack this one. Alex took her normal seat. She eyed the lawyer for a moment, sizing him up. She told herself she wouldn't do something stupid if he started trying to stop Bobby. She decided he probably wouldn't be much of anything anyway.

Bobby had followed her in. He silently took the seat next to Alex. He too sized up their suspect and lawyer. Drawing the same conclusions, he began, "So Mr. Kingsley, we've been told you're an associate of Nicole Wallace."

Gage snorted. He shrugged and replied, "Yeah. I know her. She ain't done nothin' wrong."

Bobby shook his head. He clicked his tongue and asked, "You don't know much about Nicole Wallace do you?"

Gage looked a little confused. He warily answered, "I know what I need to know."

Putting a piece of paper in front of Gage, Alex spoke up, "We did a little research on you."

Bobby shook his head. He caught Gage's eyes and apologized, "I'm sorry about your baby brother. His mother killed him?"

Gage sat up straight. He didn't like people bringing up his brother. He hesitantly replied, "Yeah. My dad couldn't stop the crazy bitch. My mother sued and won full custody after that too. I wasn't allowed to see my Dad."

Alex put a photo on the table. She was pleased and relaxed. Things were going exactly as planned. She dry asked, "Do you know whose kid this is?"

Gage looked up from the photo to Bobby, expecting an answer. When one didn't come, he asked, "Whose?"

Bobby looked him directly in the eye and pointedly answered, "Nicole's. It's her three year old daughter that she killed in Australia."

Gage was a mixture of anger, confusion, and sadness. He shook his head no. He wouldn't believe it, "No. She didn't do that. She wouldn't kill her own kid."

Bobby shook his head and watched as Alex put some more papers on the table. He sighed and insisted, "Come on Gage. You know it's true. It's all right there. She was at the beach alone with her mother when Nicole claims she got swept out to sea. Only, her little girl there turned up buried. You're not a stupid guy. Why would you want to protect a woman who killed her own flesh and blood? You think that girl deserved it anymore than your brother?"

Gage looked lost. Looking at his lawyer, he nodded. The lawyer, asked, "What kind of deal are you willing to offer for his information on the kidnapped people?"

As Carver walked in, he answered, "So far we have implicated in at least six kidnappings, aiding a fugitive, conspiracy to commit two murders, and attempted blackmail of a police officer. That about cover it?"

Bobby nodded slightly. Some other incidental charges might be added later, but that was the bulk of the charges. He sighed and replied, "Sounds about right."

Carver nodded. He took the last chair in the room and suggested, "How about you tell us what you know and we'll see what kind of a deal it's worth."

Gage sighed. He nodded and replied, "Right. They're in Queens, off Broadway. It's the abandoned warehouse out there. You can't miss it. You'd better hurry. She was on her way to my place. She'll know something is wrong and might make a run for it. I don't know where that will leave your family."

Alex and Bobby were immediately on their feet heading out the door, Alex threw back, "We'll back later for your whole story and statement, so don't get comfy."


	14. Storming the Building

The Long Winding Road: Chapter 14

By: The Confused One

A/N: This is probably one of the shorter chapters for this fic, but I like it, so hopefully, everyone will.

Arriving at the house, Alex talked into her phone, "Dad, we're here. I know. I will. I'll call you when it's over. Bye." Alex caught Bobby's smile as she hung up the phone. Pointing at him, she warned, "Don't you dare laugh."

Bobby obediently nodded and noted she was smiling now too. Turning to the others, he called out, "Let's go."

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Nicole threw the last of her clothes in her bag. Looking at a couple of her guards, she ordered, "Go kill the hostages now and hurry."

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The swat team, headed by Bobby and Alex stormed the building. Nikolas followed Alex as the team split up into two. Alex and Nikolas up the stairs, and Bobby and his followed to the back, where there was an extra room.

Bobby and his team made their way through the maze of boxes. Coming across Nicole's guards, they were taken out easily, but it drew Nicole's attention. Getting behind some boxes, she shot at the men.

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Storming into the room, Nikolas was able to take out the first guard. Everyone stopped instantly though, as the other guard, Mark, held a gun to Hayley's head. She was to b first. Hayley whimpered.

Alex's heart felt like it jumped into her throat. This wasn't happening. Trying to stay calm, she aimed at Mark and yelled, "Let her go. You're outnumbered."

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Nicole huddled behind the boxes. She smiled slightly and engaged Bobby, "Hi Bobby. It's nice to see you again. I certainly hope Detective Eames is OK. I must warn you though. While you're standing around here dealing with me, you're little girl is being murdered."

Bobby choked by his fury. He tried to get some information, "Nicole, she's a little girl. She hasn't done anything. Where is she?"

Nicole laughed bitterly. She yelled back, "People like us aren't supposed to have children Bobby. I thought we talked about us. I mean, I'm doing you a favor."

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Hayley whimpered again. Mark inched closer to the door with Hayley. She watched as the guns and eyes stayed on them. Mark warned, "Let me out of here, and she'll live."

Kate, totally freaked, in tears, begged, "No! She's a little girl! Take me!"

Alex steadied her nerves. She shook her head. Talking to Kate, she assured her, "It'll be fine, Kate. Don't worry about it." Turning her attention to Mark, she warned, "If you don't let her go, now, you're not walking out of this room alive. Let her go. Surrender."

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Bobby began slowly making his way around the boxes, to where she was. He continued to engage her, "I'm supposed to be miserable for forever, like you. Right, Nicole?"

Nicole smiled. She followed his voice was moving slightly. She was sure he was moving and kept quiet about knowing he was moving. She announced, "We're two of a kind Bobby. That's why I don't understand what you see in Detective Eames."

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Mark stood still, contemplating his options. He was determined not to go to jail. He tried once more, "I'll let her go a couple of miles up the road. You have to let me go. I will kill her."

Alex tensed slightly, before aiming just right. She gave him one more chance, "You hurt one hair on her head, and I won't hesitate to pull this trigger. Let her go now, while you have a chance."

Mark shook his head. He wasn't letting go. He finally just screamed, "Let me out of here! I swear I'll put a bullet in her brain!"

Hayley was crying a little now. Alex avoided looking at her. Making sure she was steady, she pulled the trigger.

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Nicole was starting to get nervous. He hadn't responded. Suddenly she heard the gun cock right behind her. She heard him sneer, "First of all, she doesn't kidnap children. Drop the gun Nicole and surrender."

Nicole laughed. Turning to face him, she used the only painful leverage she had, "Well, you have me, finally, Detective. Unfortunately, your daughter is probably dead by about now."

Bobby could only pray that Alex and the others had found them in time. Pushing aside his worry, he hissed, "Put the gun down and shut up."

Nicole began to lower her gun. Trying to throw him off balance, she taunted, "I'd imagine they all begged for their lives."

Bobby pulled the trigger before she could raise the gun all the way back up.

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Alex was shaking as she lowered her gun back down, and Hayley was screaming. Instinctively, Alex dropped the gun and grabbed her daughter. Alex held the girl for dear life, and was comforted that all the blood wasn't Hayley's. Closing her eyes, she just comforted her little girl.

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The gunshot had caused the rest of the team to descend upon Bobby, who stood in shock over the dead body of Nicole Wallace.


	15. New Partners

The Long and Winding Road

By: The Confused One

A/N: Well, there is only one more chapter after this, so I hope everyone likes it. Enjoy, and please review. Thanks.

As Bobby got swarmed with paramedics and other cops, he stepped back. Snapping out of his shock and revelry, he went desperately searching for Alex and Hayley.

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Alex held Hayley for dear life still. Hayley finally began calming down and stopped shaking. Kate was holding her twins. Jamie stood aside, in shock. Kate looked over at her older daughter and called for her, "Jamie, come here."

Bursting into tears, she held her mother for dear life. Alex looked over at Kate. She finally found her voice, "I'm so sorry Kate."

Kate shook her head. She tried to make her sister understand, "We'll be alright."

Cops and medical personnel swarmed the room. Alex assured them, "We'll all fine."

Nikolas made sure they all focused on the dead man in the room. That's when Alex looked up to see Bobby running into the room. She watched his eyes go from a bloody Hayley to her. Locking eyes with him, she could see the momentary panic, and she assured him, "We're all OK."

Nodding, he got down on his knees and hugged them both. He kissed Alex's temple. Suddenly, he could imagine what had happened. Pulling away, he looked over at Kate and her three children. He thanked God everyone was OK.

Alex locked eyes with Bobby again. She could see something had happened. Alex didn't regret shooting the man who was holding her daughter at gunpoint, but Bobby was struggling with something. She could sense it. She finally asked, "What's wrong?"

Deciding he had tell her eventually, replied, "Nicole. I was worried that everyone wasn't OK. Nicole said she sent someone to kill them all. I was worried they beat you here."

Alex swallowed hard. She wasn't going to lie. She admitted, "He did almost beat us. He had Hayley. I had to shoot him."

Bobby nodded. He revealed, "I killed Nicole."

Alex eyes widened. Worried, she asked, "Are you OK?"

Bobby brushed it off, "Yeah. I'm fine. She pulled her gun. It was justified. I tried every time. She just couldn't ever get past her past."

Alex nodded slowly. She didn't even notice Nikolas walk over. He reminded them, "We've got this. You should take them home. We can get their statements and your reports later."

Bobby nodded. He watched Alex scoop Hayley up. He looked at Kate, and commented, "We're going to take you to your parent's house. Everyone is there."

Kate nodded. Standing, she encouraged her children, "We're going home guys."

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Bobby sat in a chair in the back of the room. He watched as Alex and her family reunited and talked and shed a few tears. He was, mostly, happy. Alex's family was the closest to a real family he had ever had. He was just relieved to be watching Kate relaxing and getting past what happened. He was relieved to know that the children were upstairs trying to sleep some of their trauma. A part of him feared Hayley would be in therapy for the rest of her life trying to get over what her parents had allowed to happen. Kate finally sauntered over to where he was sitting, she offered, "Come on. Join us."

Bobby smiled. Confusing Kate greatly, he replied, "I like watching. I like seeing a normal family."

Kate teasingly replied, "Which, married to my sister or not, you're a part of."

Bobby was surprised as Kate went back into the crowd. Locking eyes with Alex, he willed her over to him. Getting the message, Alex made her way over. She smiled and replied, "What are you doing over here hiding?"

Bobby sighed and whispered, "I think Kate knows."

Confused, Alex asked, "Knows what?"

Bobby tilted his head and replied, "That we're not married."

Alex was surprised. Looking over at Kate, she replied, "We should tell everyone. She shouldn't be the one to spread it around."

Bobby nodded. This wasn't going to be fun. He still wondered how Kate had found out. Was it the lack of wedding rings, finally? Was it Nicole? He was brought back to reality by Alex announcing, "Uh. I think everyone should sit down. As horrible as all of this has been, there is something else."

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Walking out to the car, Alex was simultaneously relieved and worried at the same time. Her family had taken the news incredibly well, and everything would work out there. She decided she needed to talk to Bobby about their future, now that everyone knew everything. Things could and probably needed to change. Then Deakins had called. He needed to talk to them. It didn't sound good. Alex was sure it was news that she and Bobby were being split up. She was confused. She had been sure Bobby had been right behind her. Heading back inside, Bobby appeared at the door. He smiled. She asked, "Ready?"

Bobby nodded and followed her out to the car. He asked, "Are you OK?"

Alex nodded a little. She wouldn't admit it, but she was more worried about him. She knew killing Nicole had to cause some emotions for him. She was confused by how they hadn't so far. She finally replied, "Yeah. I'm fine. I'm. I'm more worried about you."

He reassured her, "Alex. I didn't have a choice, and she behind killing our son and almost killed our daughter. I don't have any regrets."

Alex nodded, accepting his response. With a sigh, she got in the car and started the engine.

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Knocking on Deakins door, they heard him call them in. Seeing two other people in his office, Alex anxiously greeted everyone, "Hi."

Deakins watched as Bobby and Alex walked in. Trying to make things easier, he introduced everyone, "Detectives Carolyn Barek and Mike Logan, this is Detectives Bobby Goren and Alex Eames." Looking at Bobby and Alex, he directed the next part to them, "Sorry guys. The brass wants you split up. Eames, you're with Barek. Goren, you're with Logan. I guess that's it. Everyone can get settled tomorrow."

Carolyn Barek could see the disappointment on their face. She had heard the story, and it was obvious to her that they had hoped an exception would be made for them. She hesitantly introduced herself, "Hi. I've heard good things about you both."

Alex sighed and shook her hand. She could tell Carolyn had picked up on how she and Bobby felt about having to get new partners. Alex tried to put her at ease, "Nice to meet you. I'm sure we're going to work out just fine."

Bobby on the other hand, proceeded to size up Mike. He had heard the rumors. Of course, he knew that was a bit hypocritical. It wasn't like there weren't plenty of rumors about him. He'd play nice and make Alex happy. Shaking Mike's hand, Bobby replied, "Nice to meet you."

Mike smiled. He'd give Bobby a chance. It wasn't like he didn't have his own reputation, "Likewise."

Deakins was relieved. No one was pitching fits. Maybe this would go smoothly. Interrupting, he addressed Bobby and Alex again, "I'm glad everyone is OK. I expect to meet Hayley soon."

Alex smiled. She assured him, "Yeah and you can see the house. We'll have you and Angie over this next week."

Bobby smiled. They hadn't had anyone over to eat but Alex's family. It would be a nice change. He agreed, "It'll be nice. I'll cook. She can't cook."

Alex slapped at his arm. She argued, "Excuse me? I can cook. I just might not be some master chef like you."

Deakins smiled. It was good to see them as close to normal as they had been in months. He also filled them in, "Sounds like a plan. It seems everyone has taken plea bargains and spilled their guts for Trevor and Harrison. So it's pretty much all over."

Bobby nodded. He replied, "Good."

Deakins nodded too. He dismissed the four, "You guys get out of here. I'll see you all tomorrow."

Watching everyone leave, he turned to Deakins again. He asked, "Can I ask you something?"

Confused, Deakins shakily replied, "Sure."

Alex stopped and watched Bobby carefully. Seeing his nod, she knew he wanted to be alone, and she figured she'd get it out of him sooner or later. With a sigh, she closed the door and found Mike and Carolyn still milling about. She smiled.

Carolyn offered, "I know this is the last thing you and Goren wanted…"

Alex smiled and interrupted her, "It's alright. Maybe new partners will be good for us."

Carolyn smiled. She replied, "Good. Because I really don't want to come into the middle of some complicated, thing."

Alex smiled still. She assured her, "No. No. It's all good. We were ready for this. We kind of expected it. I'm sorry if we didn't exactly give you two rousing welcomes. We might have expected it, but we were sort of hoping. Anyway, it'll work out."

Mike nodded and agreed, "I hope so."

Hearing Deakins door open, Alex turned to face Bobby. She smiled and inquired, "What was that about?"

Bobby smiled and cryptically answered, "You'll find out later. Don't worry about it. It's nothing bad."

Alex rolled her eyes. She suspected she wasn't going to get anymore out of him, so she turned back to Mike and Carolyn. She excused them, "Well, I guess we'll see you guys tomorrow. I have to see if I can get this big secret from him."

They both smiled as they walked to the elevators. Carolyn and Mike watched them with interest. They both know they were about to walk into some craziness. They were both looking forward to it. It was going to be fun.


	16. A Wedding

The Long and Winding Road: Chapter 16

By: The Confused One

A/N: Well, this is the end of this story. I hope everyone has enjoyed it, and please review. Thanks.

Bobby was euphoric. Having just gotten the casts and everything off, he was finally able to put his plan into motion. Taking her hands again, Bobby led Alex into the building. He could tell she was dragging her feet. Smiling, he assured her, "It's alright. I'm not going to let you run into anything."

Alex sighed and allowed herself to be led further in. She replied, "I'm not worried about that, though I'm really getting annoyed and impatient here Bobby. Where are we?"

Bobby smirked now. He assured her, "Just a little further and I'll let you take the blindfold off and see."

Getting irritated, Alex insisted, "Bobby!"

Bobby finally stopped. Letting go of her hands, he relented, "OK. OK. This is far enough. You can take it off now."

Taking the blindfold off, Alex was confused. Looking at Bobby, she asked, "Our church? What are we doing at the church?"

Bobby smiled again. Pulling a small ring box and getting down on one knee, he opened the box and presented it to a shocked Alex, "Alexandra Eames, I love you more than anything. I'd do anything for you, and I want to correct something I screwed up sixteen years ago. Alex, will you marry me, right now?"

Totally at a loss, it took Alex to find her voice. Crying from happiness, she answered, "Yes! I'll marry you. God, I love you! Bobby, right now?"

Bobby got on his feet again. Slipping the ring on her finger, Bobby explained, "Everything is already set up."

Confused and overwhelmed, Alex asked, "What?"

Coming out of one of the rooms, Hayley came running to her parents. Hugging her mother, she asked, "Mom! You said yes, right?"

Alex laughed. Watching Bobby, she was confused. She finally answered, "Yes, I did. What are you doing here sweetheart?"

Looking at her mother like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, Hayley explained, "Getting ready for the wedding, duh."

Bobby and Alex both laughed a little. Looking up at Bobby, she asked, "What did you do?"

Bobby shrugged. He innocently explained, "I just got everyone here, and you have several dress choices in there. Kate, Adrianna, and your mother are waiting to help you get ready. Hayley will follow you in and help, right?"

Hayley nodded enthusiastically. She offered, "Of course."

Bobby smiled and continued, "Lewis, Richard, Scott, and David are waiting for me. Your dad will be waiting for you at the entrance to the sanctuary."

Alex looked at him in amazement. She kissed him. Deepening the kiss, Alex groaned before pulling away. Meeting his eyes, she smiled and replied, "God, I love you." Looking at Hayley, she grabbed the girl's hand and replied, "Let's get ready sweetheart."

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Bobby couldn't believe it was done. He was beyond happy. Dancing with her, he admitted, "That was the dressed I picked. It was my favorite. I could see you in it."

Alex smiled even more, if it was possible. She replied, "I should have known. You'd be the one to pick something form fitting. And the rings are beautiful."

Bobby smiled a little smugly. He replied, "Well, thank you."

Grinning still, she commented, "You pulled this off all on your own without me knowing, huh?"

Bobby smiled. He couldn't remember being happier. He shrugged and admitted, "I had a lot of help."

Alex laughed. Gliding across the dance floor, she replied, "I'll bet you did. I still can't believe I'm Mrs. Goren."

Bobby caressed her cheek. He got serious again, "I'm sorry about that. It should have been years ago."

Alex sighed softly. She tried to assure him, "It's OK. We made that decision together. We both knew why. We did it now, in our own time, and I'm happy."

Bobby nodded slowly. He kissed her again and replied, "I am too. For the first time in months I'm truly happy."

Alex sighed and leaned into his arms and let him guide her around the dance floor. She knew that while the song would end in a moment, they had faced the worst and only gotten stronger.


End file.
